There was enough toilet paper. . .but someone broke an arm.

I left the home and the state of New Jersey for approximately 6 hours and someone broke an arm.

Literally.

The arm is actually in a cast; a cute, royal purple cast.

A cast. 6 hours. Broken arm.

The broken arm occurred in a strange, yet, totally predictable couch jumping incident. Apparently, all the cushions were removed from the couch to create a safe landing pad. During Chloe's last and fateful jump, a cushion shifted leaving a small space between the cushions, jeopardizing the stability and safety of the landing pad.

The result: the poor kid landed on her hand/wrist directly on the floor after an epic corkscrew, triple combo living room couch jump that made her a contender in the great-mommy-is-in-another-state-olympics.

So there you have it: the lesson is that I clearly need to source a couch with cushions that are not removable,  figure out how to pad the walls and the floors,  and consider NEVER LEAVING THE HOME AGAIN.

I also need to update my pre-escape questions with the following:

1. You do realize that your bones can break, right?

2. You are aware that jumping in any fashion whether with a rope or a trampoline or a makeshift couch cushion landing pad is strictly prohibited, right?

3. You will not break your bones while riding on the dog because you are bored with walking, correct?

4. You are aware that my physical absence does not mean I am not watching and their may or may not be cameras hidden places, okay?

5. And when you ignore all rules and regulations completely, resulting in broken bones, bloodied knees, holes in wall and fires in the hole, please know you are shaving years off my independent living and you must agree to apply mascara to my lashes daily while I am living at the "rest home," agreed?

On the bright side: at least nothing caught on fire and we still have a full can of glitter hairspray. For now.

Did you miss the prequel to this post? Never fear, here it is:

Is there enough toilet paper?