I need to shout out the person (who shall remain nameless because our family has 11 more years at the high school) who phoned me today from an unknown number. I took a risk answering, but I was in a productive mood and just felt like leaning into whomever was calling me.
Which is unlike me. I send my own family to voicemail. Note: my family will never know because none of you read Yoke. PROVE ME WRONG!
Anyway, back to the call today.
I answered the phone as I always do when it is not someone in my usual circle with: "Hi, this is Trish."
Note: When I don't send you to voicemail and I know you, I usually answer with one of the following:
"What do you want?"
"HELLO CAN YOU HERE ME?!"
"Let me call you back."
"I have 2 minutes, so talk fast."
"WHERE ARE YOU?"
Anyway, for professional or strange calls, I always smile while saying "Hi, this is Trish."
I like to pretend to be my own receptionist. A few people have told me this is weird. I send those people straight to voicemail now (unless they are over the age of 75. Then I answer! You cannot send the elderly or elderly adjacent to voicemail! What if it is the last time?)
So, as I noted above, is exactly what I did today. The phone rang and I hit the green accept call button, smiled while silently motioning for my children to mute YouTube and I said, "Hi, this is Trish."
The caller responded, "Oh, hello Pattie."
So I responded: "Nope, this is Trish."
The caller: "Oh, I am so glad I caught you Pattie, this is. .."
I MEAN WHAT IN THE ACTUAL ACTUAL!
Pattie does not rhyme with with Trish.
I told this story to my children (my teenager, by the way, is in a much better mood. I made her a smoothie instead of a bagel. So maybe it was the bagel!). My children had no opinion on the matter and pointed out that I often call them the wrong names, sometimes I even call them the names of the cat and dog. Then my son began calling me Pattie, to my face, like some sort of kitchen bully. Then, they all got distracted by fighting over a can of soda, so I was left wondering how I should rectify this situation.
As I mentioned, we have 11 years at the high school and my biggest fear is that I somehow become known as Pattie in a widespread, pandemic way. Like what if people prefer "Pattie Adkins" to "Trish Adkins" and my entire success is based upon a name that isn't even mine, but that I am forced to adopt and then later this all blows up in my face and people call me a fraud when they realize I was never Pattie in the first place.
I mean this actually could happen! Right?