I will not do things like slide through a stop sign (cautiously! There was no one around, except for the police officer) when racing to pick up a forgotten costume piece during a dance recital. I will not sigh loudly every time someone asks me for something that is related to my job. I will not skim emails and reply with vague answers like "okay" or "let's circle back" or "book it."
Someone replied to "book it" with "Book what?" I replied, "I don't you, you tell me." They replied, "What?" And then I deleted their message.
I won't do that tomorrow! I PROMISE!
I mean, the truth is, I will probably, delete and then block people who are not accepting of responses like, "Catch me on the flip side" and I will definitely violate several traffic laws in the name of a performance or charity event.
I am not a mess, I swear. In fact, I think I might be very functional; but maybe teetering on dysfunctional.
I don't know what is wrong with me. But, I do know that the universe has been continually conspiring against me for several years. Tuesday, after a particularly trying 24 hours trying to get my nearly-olympic-adjacent-athlete to complete her school work and managing very big emotions and dance recital rehearsal pandemonium with my dancing queen, I joked that maybe my son would like set things on fire or poop his pants.
Then two things happened:
1. the smoke from Canada came and turned New Jersey into Mars
2. He did not poop his pants; but I did accidentally induce a night terror when I woke him up to go to the bathroom. During the night terror, he screamed "Please help me Jesus" and I thought for sure there was an Exorcist type situation happening and friends:
I wasn't even surprised.
So, that's my baseline: demonic possessions are expected and a normal part of the day/night.
Anyway, the rub with all of this is that I wouldn't change a thing about my life (except maybe have a large bank account and less chin hair). I am so proud of my children. Lily rowed in the USRowing National Championship today! Sunday, she will row in the finals! Chloe danced so beautifully tonight and dances all weekend long. I am so proud of her, too, for helping a younger class of little ones in gymnastics. Nicholas put together a Powerpoint Presentation and spoke to his entire elementary school--all the kids and all the teachers--about childhood cancer.
Then he came home and spit cherry pits all over the house while playing a video game and complaining about the smoke filled skies.
I'd probably change the cherry pit spitting, too.