Why are you hiding behind that flower, people? (Day 129, Year 3)

I often wonder about people who have plants or flowers as their social media profile picture. Like what is their story? Are they in hiding? And if they are in hiding, what are they hiding?

I asked my 10 year old what he thought about these people and he said maybe they just don't take a good picture or aren't sure what to put up as their profile picture. 

I told him this explanation was boring and therefore, absolutely, 100-percent untrue. 

Clearly, these flower people are hiding something! I mean unless they are like florists or botanists (is this still a profession?) or actual flowers with a social media presence.  I also find these people annoying (sorry if you are reading this and have just learned for the first time you are annoying) because I want to see their faces! How I am supposed to know if you are the Dolores RollerskateEraserThief* who stole my roller-skate eraser in 2nd grade or you are the Dolores RollerskateEraserThief who is simply someone's grandmother living a quiet, but colorful life in Boca? 

You are all just generic flowers! You could be anyone!

It really cuts into my social media background checking business. 

I did some thinking and some investigations using Google ("WHAT ARE THE FLOWER PEOPLE HIDING GOOGLE?). I briefly fell into a rabbit hole (which is very garden-themed, by the way) of reading about secret messages and meanings in the use of a flower as profile picture. This also was super boring and tedious to me (like okay, there cannot be that many swingers!).  I briefly entertained the idea of asking a flower profile person, but everyone knows these people are not trustworthy and you cannot even look them in the eye via profile picture. 

So I returned to the only source I can trust (ME)  and I finally have the answers to the identities of the flower people:

1. They are Spies using the flower because they failed the "hiding in plain sight" class at the top secret spy academy. I think this accounts for at least 70% of all flower profile people. 

2. They have a face tattoo and everyone knows that everyone regrets getting a face tattoo. And even if you don't totally regret it, you know you will be made to regret by your grandmother who is now on TikTok and Instagram, so your only option without obviously hiding your tattooed face is a flower profile picture. 

3. They are in hiding from me because they stole my roller-skate eraser in second grade. Rest assured thief, I am not afraid to shake down some Nana's with your same name in the name of justice. 

And that's it. There are no other possible explanations for the flower profile picture, which means I have a fair amount of friends who are spies, which is exciting when you think about it! Maybe I'll get to live out a Blacklist/Chuck spy fantasy? I'll keep you posted! 

*Name of roller-skate thief has been changed due to open investigation.