Texts from my kids (Day 111, Year 3)

Friends, I get text messages all day from my children. My daughters are not even allowed to have their cell phones in school-lest they receive a very severe (imaginary to date) punishment. My son does not have a cell phone; but he emails his sisters via the school iPad and requests that they text me. 

These text messages are NOT the following:

Declarations of love. 

I miss you moments. 

Asks for advice on academic matters. 

Glimpses of vulnerability 

These text messages ARE STRAIGHT UP DEMANDS FOR:

CASH

CAR RIDES

SNACKS

ELECTRONIC DEVICES

RETRIBUTION 

I am beside myself. I did not have this sort of relationship with my parents because there were not cell phones and also my parents sometimes just said things like "get a job and figure it out" or "date a boy with a car" or "NO WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

I've tried to say all three things to my children who either just ignore me or say something so ridiculous back, like "I will not date a boy from THIS TOWN which you MOVED me to" or they will threaten to move to Hollywood and become a "movie star."

It's all bad, friends. 

Sometimes, they speak with me in person, using their voice and they will say things like "That was inconvenient for me, so I thought you'd just ENJOY (driving hours and hours and buying $500 in dance tights) doing it."

Do you think my children are abusing me? I think they might be! Like, some sort of elder abuse? I am getting older. 

Earlier today, after receiving demands for an iPad to be dropped off, I responded by saying the iPad was at the office.

My daughter wrote: "Oh, I guess I don't need it. Today I will be outside coloring."

She is a junior in high school friends, JUST WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Anyway, I have to go because someone just texted me and demanded I rub their back and switch the laundry.