My husband often gets photos of me that I would not choose to ever have taken or shared. Once, he shared a photo of me holding a handful of radishes in the community garden. It was not a joyous photo of a woman in a garden with handfuls bursting with red radishes. It was a profile of a deranged woman holding radishes and a straw handbag. It looked like she had stolen the radishes and was about to place them in her handbag and go off to do something else deranged.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night, I see that photo and vow that I will not be caught holding radishes ever again.
This evening, my husband took the following photo of me, as I was getting ready for my son's special person glow dance at school:
I texted a friend who pointed out that it is important to keep accurate records. So, in that spirit, I'd like to provide my ancestors with an accurate record of what was happening in the picture, lest they assume I was some sort of alcoholic ghost from 1985 who was wearing a glowing neck collar.
So, friends and future ancestors (hi!!), this is what you are witnessing in this photo and this is what you need to know about your great, great, super great Nana Trish:
1. I am not typically in neon. I was preparing to go to a Bring Your Own Glow party at an elementary school.
2. I was not going alone! My son, also your ancestor, was taking me as his VIP. He wanted to bring his father initially, but then I made a sad face and I am not ashamed to admit it. Your Nana Trish is a VIP!
3. I only drink on the weekends and occasionally midweek when your other ancestors are particularly trying! I am not constantly drinking wine. In my glass: a red Sancerre from the Loire Valley, France. And yes, I am obnoxious about my wine, sometimes. Other times, I drink it out of a box or the unmarked bottles in our basement. When the latter is the case, I simply become obnoxious.
4. My pants are from Walmart! It is the scariest store on earth and once we saw a man in a hospital gown with his IV tube dangling from his arm shopping for dog food and getting all haughty that the store was out of organic dog food. You can also buy neon there!
5. The white controllers on the table are from your ancestor Nick's oculus. Nick has his electronic devices taken away within 24 hours of getting them back.
6. I do smile in real life! I am very approachable! Do not listen to anyone who tells you that I am "scary" or those sideline parents at a variety of sports who refuse to sit by me because of my "language." I am A JOY AND A DELIGHT!
7. My natural hair color is black. I began going gray when I was in my 30s and then was suddenly white in spots. I had to go lighter to make maintenance easier. If you are blessed with my black hair, enjoy it while it lasts! AND then find the ancestors of Sam White and they will assist your transition to lighter and lighter hair.
And ancestors, that is it: the true accurate account of this photo.