Today I went to Wegmans and actually shopped in store for groceries instead of using my beloved Instacart. Beloved might be a stretch since I often receive my grocery order with its bizarre substitutions and excess bananas (I SAID 5 BANANAS, NOT 5 BUNCHES).
I guess I should say "instead of using Instacart and getting angry."
Anyway, I did this because I was trying to be more fiscally responsible and Instacart marks up food items at a bizarre and irregular rate. As a result of my in-store shopping, I am very tired, have pizza sauce on my vest and I injured my elbow while I was racing through the store Supermarket Sweep style and then racing to pack my groceries like that episode of Laverne and Shirley when they were bottling the beer at Shotz Brewery. In the process, I broke a jar of pizza sauce. I was mortified at first; but then I realized I would not have to pay for that and that made me even more fiscally responsible!
Also, I won't be going back to the grocery store again. It's easier to figure out creative uses for bananas.
I also tried out a new casual day hairstyle (as pictured!). I saw the tutorial on Facebook. (Facebook delivers me content that features hair styling OR babies from other countries with voiceovers in a variety of languages I do not speak. I don't know why. But this is what happens, now.). Isn't it cute? I think it's my new signature!
Supermarket Sweep really inspired my entire day of racing around, cramming everything in and going wild (in the aisles!). But, one cannot simply be inspired by game shows! So many other things inspired me, like:
1. Nigel Bottom, a character in the musical Lily just performed in. I decided I needed a separate notebook for all my writing ideas outside of my ideas and work and planning for the people that pay. I always have ideas and I am forever leaving myself insane Voice Memos and demanding people text me the content of our phone calls and making my children write notes for me. My children cannot spell (neither can I, but I understand my misspellings, their's are a mystery) and they also are not compliant and sometimes pretend they are writing down my ideas when really they are writing their initials over and over again or drawing a smily face.
ANYWAY, the point is, I needed a dedicated space for my own wild writing ideas, instead of sharing space with work notes and Target receipts.
So, I grabbed an empty notebook and began writing in the brainstorm-y, wild, slightly manic way that I enjoy. It was wonderful! I have so many great ideas and glad I put them in one place.
2. My inner crazy old lady. I spent at least 1 hour being irate over an email our school district superintendent sent out explaining why we would not have a two delay the day after the Super Bowl. I want to say one thing before I complain further: I want my children to go to school that day. HOWEVER, I really don't need an email explaining to me what it means to be responsible. I get it, I am an adult! I've been tired since 2006. I do all sorts of things while tired. TIRED IS WHO WE ALL ARE SIR! WE GET IT. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RUB IT IN.
3. Psychopaths. Okay, I know this SOUNDS VERY VERY STRANGE. I am reading a wonderful novel called "Never Saw Me Coming" by Vera Kurlan about psychopaths and today I assumed everyone was a psychopath. The man sitting next to me at Saxby's was definitely a psychopath (he was putting ice in his cappuccino! clearly has no normal emotions!). My Wegman's cashier did not have a reaction when I broke a jar of pizza sauce and yelled, "JESUS CHRIST" and then, "WELL I JUST SAVED $4.99." Nothing! Just dead eyes! Also, I used my innate con artist skills to manipulate people to get things done. Like somehow, my children put their laundry away and one of them made the rice for dinner. Follow me for more psychopath parenting tips!
And that's it for the inspiration this Monday. Hang in there everyone!
Comments
Post a Comment