Downhill (Day 41, Year 3)

Today, I broke my streak of styling my hair in the Reel hairstyle and went with twin french braids that are very "1994 Tricia Carrington." I am Tricia Carrington, by the way, in case you weren't sure since I now go by something else entirely. Neither names are my real name. 

ANYWAY, things went downhill with the breaking of my hair streak and now I am superstitious. Things were okay, but then at 3pm, everything went to crap in ways I never would have predicted. I mean, we are okay and no one is hospitalized or dead (that I know of!), our house has not burnt down and I was not kidnapped (yet) today. 

However, now my youngest child is staging a hunger strike over the inventory system at Target and my daughters are "giving the cat time" to finish murdering a mouse she brought upstairs to their bedroom, which doubles as her murine kill room. Also, there was something in my wine glass; but I am defeated so I am drinking my wine with whatever is in my glass and I will probably accidentally poison myself. 

The good news, if I do poison myself, I will probably get to spend the night in the hospital and while that is not a blessing in the traditional sense, it might be one tonight. 

Alright, back to 3pm, picture it: I am trying to log onto my 3pm Zoom with very important, smart and utterly functional childhood cancer researchers. I live for these researcher calls. Immediately my Zoom begins to misbehave and malfunction. Then I am 5 minutes late to the call. The call begins and immediately each of my children call me with needs. First, there is a printer situation at the library. Then, there are demands for food. Then I have to leave one child at McDonalds in order to get another child somewhere. Then it occurs to me that this is the second time this week I've used McDonalds as childcare. This McDonalds does not have a Playspace. It is just a shell of a restaurant. Anyway, then another child calls and says there is a mouse in their room. 

ALL THIS TIME I AM ON THE CALL LISTENING AND TAKING NOTES ABOUT VERY IMPORTANT THINGS. I want to ask questions, but I cannot, lest they hear the screaming and the questions about McDonald's (I KNOW MCDONALDS IS TERRIBLE FOOD AND NOT VERY GOOD AT CHILDCARE) and my very bad skills at troubleshooting printing problems and, of course, all about the mouse. 

Somehow, by the grace of God, I survived the call and the children were deposited to all the places they needed to go. BUT then came the time to go buy an Oculus using all the gift cards and gift money Nicholas had saved up. We went to Target and the inventory system failed us: there were not 4 in stock, there were ZERO.

Yes, this is annoying. But to Nicholas, my sweet, privileged boy, this was a breaking point. If you open your windows within a 2 mile radius you can hear him screaming "HOW CAN AN INVENTORY SYSTEM FAIL IN THE MODERN AGE. I AM SUING THEM AND CAN BECAUSE IT IS AMERICA"

I guess he was really excited and he's really litigious. 

Anyway, he'll calm down. And hopefully Rosie will finish killing the mouse. And tomorrow, I WILL NOT DEVIATE FROM THE HAIR STYLE THAT IS NOW MY GOOD LUCK CHARM. 

Also, Go Birds.