Then I tried out some sort of virtual space invader game on my son's Meta Quest thing and shit got really real.
Like I put on that headset and suddenly I WAS IN ACTUAL SPACE! And alien drones were trying to kill me. And I was screaming and my husband told me that someone might call the police if they heard me. Although, I highly doubt that; I am constantly screaming and no one in this house comes to see what the fuss is about.
Anyway, these drones were like coming at me from all angles--the top, the sides, the East, the West, the right, the left, from the ground and in the distance. I had to shoot them with my space laser or grab onto them with my grabby space laser and toss them back into the universe to survive. It was like I was there, but I could not see my feet or legs, which was unnerving. But the space sky was limitless. It's crazy, friends!
I am still amped up and could really go for a sprint around the neighborhood; but then our neighbors will assume I am being chased or more likely, that I am running from stealing EZ passes out of cars. And while I dream of being talked about on a neighborhood page, I think this isn't a big enough offense and the reach will be minimal. Gotta save my day in the spotlight for something big, like my dog pooping on someone's lawn!
Anyway, this led me to think about the large objects being shot out of the sky and how they are definitely ALIENS. As my wise friend pointed out, since everyone says they are not aliens, they must be aliens. It is the only logical answer. My husband has some boring explanation that is positively ludicrous in its rationality. (I won't bore you!)
Whatever the explanation for the alien space objects over our country, it's all a bit weird, isn't it? Like what in the world is happening? Do I even want to know? What's next? Will there be 99 luftballoons as predicted in 1983? What day is it? Why doesn't anything ever go as planned? Is the world ending?
It might be. I mean the signs are everywhere!
Like today, I woke up sick and by 7:15 was on a telehealth appointment. One kid came home from school sick. Another was sent to the principal's office (in a case of mistaken identity, supposedly, I remain suspicious). And I left a twin sheet for the cleaners to put on my queen size bed and now have to make the bed myself.
The last thing is perhaps the worst and I fear THIS IS IT!
I've mostly been focused on building my "zombie apocalypse team," however, now, I think I need to turn my focus to my "Balloon Alien Apocalypse Team." I am not sure what skills are needed (sharp finger nails? a supply of spears? an ability to not flinch at the sound of a balloon popping? a laser?); but I'll figure it out as I slip back into my virtual reality space world and lay the hammer down on some alien drones.