Sometimes I do this really silly thing in which I quietly tell myself I am a loser and did not accomplish anything. Then sometimes I start shouting this and ranting and raving. It's utterly ridiculous because God did not build us to be constant accomplishers. He built us to sometimes NOT accomplish.
Nonetheless, the next silly thing I do is begin to list all the things I did accomplish. Sometimes the list reads as if I am in treatment for clinical depression (Showered, got dressed, left the house, spoke to a person in real life). Other times, I am pleasantly surprised by all I actually accomplished.
I thought about listing my accomplishments of the day here in Yoke. But that is the silliest thing in the world because, like I said, God did not build us to be constant accomplishers. And who gives a flying fig about what Trish Adkins accomplished on her Saturday.
I don't even want to care!
I think part of letting go of these silly, self-loathing habits of mine is to try to stop living as if I am trying to build a life resume. There is a Bible verse from Romans 4 that harkens back to Abraham (you know the father of Judaism, Christianity and Islam) and reminds us that the promise made to Abraham did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith.
I think when I am wrapped up in accomplishment and resume building, I am honoring the law of the world (do more! accomplish! get it done!) and I am forgetting the most important piece of my life and that is the love and grace and peace that comes from my faith in the Lord.
I know this is a lot of Jesusy talk for a Saturday night; but when I think about my value as a woman, I have to forget what the world tells me. I have to remember what God tells me and He tells me that He loves me whether I emptied the dishwasher or not.