Thursday, January 12, 2023

Viral Proximity (Day 12, Year 3)

It occurred to me this evening that for the past few days I haven't had much interaction with real life people outside of my children, their friends and the Saxby's barista/manager who once counseled me through the writing of my brother's eulogy (this is a story for another day). Sure, I've had one million phone and video calls. I've definitely sent a thousand texts and nearly as many emails. I've talk to Mike on the phone from where ever he is. 

But, these are not the same as being with a person who could cough on you and give you COVID or RSV. 

Friends, there is something about being in viral proximity with other human beings that makes you feel connected to the universe!

As a result, I am feeling all pandemic-y like it is March 2020, all over again! This deja vu is not pleasant. It does remind me of a conversation that Jen and Judy had on "Dead to Me," in which Judy said deja vu is just your brain reminding you to remember. 

I don't really want to remember the lockdown days. I was so bored and freaked out! I remember going for very long, long walks--for miles and miles and crossing to the other side of the street when I saw another human being. Sometimes, I would not see anyone out on my walks for miles and I live in densely populated area! I always imaged all those people inside, peaking out, like prisoners and watching me walk and sometimes fall when I got distracted by something. 

Did they laugh? Did they experience deja vu? Do they even remember me?

I have no idea where I am going all this, except to say, I think I am experiencing some sort of brief loneliness? This is a ridiculous notion given that I have three children who actually love to talk to me and mother, who also loves to talk to me. It is also ridiculous because I typically love being alone! But, none the less, I cannot wait for the weekend and social activities and real-life interaction with people who are not teenagers or elderly or making me a latte. 

I do, however, request that if you have a cough, you stay away from me. I want to be close enough to get a virus; without actually getting one. 



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