Tuesday, January 3, 2023

The First Monday Wearing Tuesday's Clothes (Day 3, Year 3)


Today, friends, January 3 was listed as a Tuesday on my calendar. But when I breakdown everything that happened today, it is apparent that today is really Monday wearing Tuesday's clothes. All the horrible, dreaded apocalyptic Monday things happened--there was poop where it did not belong, there were terrifying early morning knocks on my bedroom door, followed by screaming in the hallways and of course, it is nearly 9 pm and I've only managed to fake a shower, by putting enough cover-up on to cover yesterday's mascara and brushing my hair using a doll brush. 

No one in this house even plays with dolls anymore, which is why I lucked out with the doll brush. Otherwise, I'd be using my fingers and a pencil to detangle myself. 

I also have a splinter in my hand. I don't know how or when, but I think it is related to the Coca-cola that was mysterious spilled on our ancient hardwood floors and the subsequent angry cleaning, followed by the splinter getting. 

These are NOT TUESDAY THINGS, friends! These are Monday things! Tuesdays include showering and exclude poop in wrong places. 

Tuesdays also exclude:

  • Chasing down people for money (this is more of a Friday-Monday thing)
  • Panicked phone calls about matters so confidential you cannot even share in your blog
  • A second incident of poop in a wrong place while cooking dinner
  • Fights over the Ninja Creami and homemade banana sorbet
Although, the banana sorbet totally made things a bit better overall, like when it was finished after the Ninja Creami argument. 

And now, my lovely, difficult, very funny family is making me laugh with all their oddities. My husband is doing a Peloton ride in my office as I write and told me he feels like he is invading my private space; which is hilarious because I am never in my office alone, ever, mostly because of the 10 year old currently laying on the floor reading a book. My son stops every few minutes to tell me something funny from his book--like why do they call a school trip a field trip? He's never been on a trip to a field. My girls are upstairs hooting and hollering and absolutely NOT doing their homework. 

It seems that maybe this Monday wearing Tuesday's clothes has decided to keep its pants on now that it is nearly Wednesday. 


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