Tuesday, January 10, 2023

My Favorite Costco Things (Day 10, Year 3)

Friends, if you read this blog on the regular you know I love Costco. I truly believe you can find nearly everything you need at Costco. If Costco sold formal wear (like a ball gown and heels), it would be the only place I needed to shop. 

Today on my regular Costco run, I was overcome with joy when I saw the very fresh release of Spare by Prince Harry. I won't share my full commentary until I complete the book--but for now, let me tell you that  "Prince Harry" is not a real name and he is not Madonna, so why didn't he use his real name? DIDN'T HE GIVE UP THE WHOLE ROYAL THING WHEN HE FLED TO AMERICA?

On a positive note, the Prince writes beautifully (unlike Matthew Perry) and has described the interior layout of one of the castles with such precise detail that I am certain I could break in and find my way around in the dark, especially if King Charles is still doing headstands in his boxers. 

I could go on, but you'll have to wait! And don't worry, I've been taking notes as I read so I won't forget any of my complaints and unbiased observations that are filled with harsh judgment and criticism and grace and understanding. 

With that out of the way, here are some of my other favorite things to find at Costco:

1. Churros and other $1-ish delights!

Friends, you can hit up the Costco snack bar and have a feast for under $4. Today, Nicholas, who was home from school because he faked a stomach ache in order to read a Diary of the Wimpy Kid, got a slice of pizza that was double the size of his giant Adkins head, a 3 foot long churro and a fountain drink (with free refills! Although now you have to ask for a straw, which drives me INSANE.). It's amazing, really. They also have their chicken roll, which appears terrifying, but my father swore by a chicken roll. Also check out: the ice cream sundae and of course, if you are super cheap, just eat the free samples all over the place! Nicholas made a second lunch out of Fruit By the Foot samples. 

2. Paper products

I usually go to Costco because we need paper towels and toilet paper and then leave without those items. You might think this is really frustrating to me; but instead it fills me with joy because I can go back to Costco, again, hopefully forget again, and return home with more celebrity memoirs, snacks and fun bowls to shove in the cabinet. 

3. Snacks in pouches, bags and other packaging that is definitely not Greta Thunberg approved

My children eat everything and nothing. And if you ask them, we never have anything to eat. This is because they are both fickle and gluttons. The moment a desirable food item enters the home is the moment that food item is gone. Undesirable food items, like styrofoam and plastic bottles in a landfill, remain forever. 

I love the giant boxes of individually wrapped snacks in pouches, bags, cellophane and other non-recyclable, highly wasteful packaging. It makes my job of lunch packing easy--everyone gets 7 sugar and sodium laden individually wrapped food items in their lunch bags. One of my favorite snacks is the Nature's Own fig cookie bars that look like dog treats but taste like grown-up Fig Newtons. 

4. Costco Clothing

You may turn your nose down at clothing purchased from the wholesale club, but really you should be flipping that nose up in the air and haughtily strutting in your brand new Costco leggings and shacket! Bonus points if you have the Costco wool socks, which whisk away sweat and keep your feet warm when you hike up a mountain. We also love: Costco coats, gloves, linen, spandex shorts and of course, jammies! 

5. Organic Chicken

My husband will tell you that I am very picky about poultry products! I only eat organic chicken; I gag at those large, augmented conventional chicken breasts. Costco has great prices and packs of organic chicken! I also love the "Just Barre" green bag chicken for my kids. When I make it in the air fryer, it tastes just like Chick-Fil-A minus the homophobia! 

6. EVERYTHING IN EVERY AISLE

When it comes down to it, I love everything in every aisle at Costco! Take a stroll around the electronics or through the kitchen and dining products and you might find the most adorable painted bowls! Peruse the seasonal section and maybe you'll find a Costco reclining couch or an air hockey table. 

When you see it, BUY IT. You don't want some other shopper to take your stuff! 

Happy Costco Shopping!


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