Thursday, December 8, 2022

Shoes (Day 342, Year 2)


Friends, when you plan a party, you should always tell people what sort of shoes to wear. Like, if you are say hiking through the snow at the party, you should come prepared with snow boots. Or if you are like hiking up a mountain, you should wear hiking boots. OR IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE STANDING FOR A VERY LONG TIME YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR THE SHOES PICTURED.

Although the shoes pictures matched my dress and are so pretty and I like to rub their velvety sides and stare at them with adoration and joy. 

But they are not for standing. They are for sitting. They are also for being on a shelf and being adored. 

This concludes my Ted Talk (I've never said this before, but always wanted to!) 

But it doesn't conclude Yoke! I've got more to say!

Well, not that much more, but I will recount my evening in vague detail:

1. I am somewhere near the capital of the United States. 

2. Everyone keeps saying, "Oh you are from Philly." When this happens, I look at my husband WHO LIVES IN THE GREAT STATE OF NEW JERSEY with me, in a way that says: "Do you have another family in Philadelphia? OMG THEY LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST."

3. Everyone, also has insisted I went to Cornell. I did not. I went to Temple. It is in North Philadelphia. I had a scholarship and a 2.8 GPA. Cornell has never contacted me.  

4. No one, however, has given another spouse a handmade gift in a public display, excluding me from receiving their stupid toilet paper knitted cover. (this really happened!) Everyone here is inclusionary and has good taste. 

5. While beginning this draft, I dropped my cell phone on my nose and I screamed. My husband responded by saying "Just a minute." Then, because the hotel DOES NOT  HAVE AN ICE BUCKET, I WAS FORCED TO CARRY ICE IN MY HANDS and place it on my nose as it melted. 

6. Later, an older man made a bag with tape at the front desk. My husband filled it with 50 pounds of ice and was offended when I could not handle 50 lbs of ice on my face. 

7. Now, there is no hand soap and if you ask for hand soap, you are given a sewing kit. We don't know why. 

8. And well, the last thing is, I am so grateful for all this chaos and silliness and great times and new adventures and of course, new shoes. Even if those shoes are for sitting, only. 


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