Thursday, December 1, 2022

Behind (Day 335, Year 2)


In case you’ve been concerned, I’ve survived my first day of using an iPad to run my Empire. I capitalize “Empire” because I can. According to a text message I received this morning my laptop is being diagnosed. There have been no further updates, because like I mentioned yesterday, the laptop moves very slowly, like a Starbucks line in Texas and I imagine they’ve only now gotten past the login screen. 

The diagnosis will take sometime and several specialists. And maybe they’ve thrown it down the stairs like I did?

I imagine they are bit behind schedule, which is something I can understand. It’s my way of life! 

I am still so behind on so many things because of the interruption my broken laptop created. I don’t even think I should admit my level of behind-ness in writing, but I just did. I am, of course, an expert at managing behind-ness. I’ve been behind on several things my entire life.

I secretly don’t mind being behind because it means I always have something to look forward to, plus a high level of stress makes me more productive. I’d do well in a post-apocalyptic world planning a new civilization. The zombies screaming for my blood wouldn’t really bother me at all and would probably get me recreating the world much quicker. 

Behind really is a way of life for people like me. People who cannot handle being behind often refer to themselves as Type A. I always found this insulting, like “I AM WAY TOO TYPE A FOR THAT” Are you, Susan, are you? Because your outfit suggests while you might care about your work deadline that you are TYPE LOSER IN FASHION DEPARTMENT. 

Like, if I am not Type A, what does that make me?

I like to believe I am Type A when I feel like it—like when it counts and the zombies are droning on and on about eating you and you have to build a wall. Then I am super Type A. 

Anyway, being behind does not stop me from adding new things to my to do list. In fact, I pile more on. I’d love to understand why I do this; but I am thinking it has to do with me becoming bored easily and my firm belief that things shift in importance. Like, maybe what you had on your to-do list last week was really unimportant and in not doing it, you’ve unveiled its lack of importance. 

I know, all excuses for being behind. But, these are the things I get behind (see what I did there. . )




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