We are going to get them through it (Day 284, Year 2)

Some of you reading this might have children that are easy--the very meaning of pride and joy--great students, popular enough, tremendous athletes, above average behavior and no cause for logical concern. Some of you reading this might have children that are the opposite and no one knows because you don't talk about it.

Some of you reading this might be like me: my children are my pride and my joy; but they are also not easy. 

And this is really where parenting is hard--hard in a way that I never expected, because I was that easy child. I assumed I'd have easy children. But, alas, instead I got these amazing, magnificent, absolutely perfectly uneasy children, who I'd walk through fire and back, over and over again, until my legs gave out, because they are so worth it.

I feel completely and utterly insane most days. I am constantly fighting with someone for something for my kids--begging, advocating, reminding, spending hours ensuring accommodations are met and then, ensuring my children are holding up their end of the bargain and doing the hard, hard things that they need to do. I live in a parenting place where I am always tempted to shout "It's not fair," even though I hate cries about "fair," because expecting fair is like expecting it to rain money out of the clouds. I try my best to explain all my problems to my friends, who I often think might be tempted to mute my rants. 

And I get it, I am off-kilter, a lot. It is because I tired and frustrated and I just want my kids to get through the school day. I don't want to make one thousand calls and or write three emails a day pointing out the ways in which the school is failing to ladder up to the accommodations in an IEP. I don't want to spend days researching reading programs for elementary school kids with learning disabilities. What I want is to simply send my children to school and let them handle it. But, this does not happen when you don't have an easy child. You have to distrust everyone; hold them accountable and always be on the offensive. 

I know I sound bitter and crazy--and maybe I am a little--but I am also right. I've lived in this IEP world for so long, I know the games and the oversights and missteps and how these overlooked or undermined things can literally ruin an entire year of school. It is a lot of work. 

But, as a friend pointed out tonight, "we just have to get them through it." 

And she is so right. Because school is not the real world--and it is not always the place where everyone shines.We just have to get them through it; so they can find where they will go and shine. 

And we will. We are all going to get them through it.