Now, not overwhelmed. (Day 286, Year 2)

 

Well, friends, I was not overwhelmed today. 

I was not overwhelmed after I got only 4 hours of interrupted sleep. I was not overwhelmed when I found what appeared to be a makeshift toilet next to the radiator in the living room. I was not overwhelmed when I received an IEP meeting notice in the mail inviting me to a meeting in the past.  I was not overwhelmed when my husband told me he chased the furniture delivery truck down the road while barefoot.

He was probably a little overwhelmed. But, not me, I enjoyed the story. 

I am not overwhelmed right now with contact lenses stuck in my eyes because my rewetting drops have been stolen by one of children.

My overwhelm meter is at a zero. 

I could pretend I did something spectacularly healthy like practice gratitude or meditate or take a day off or do an inventory of my daily life. But, really, the only thing different I did was take up residence on my new recliner couch and take all calls while reclining. 

Ironically, the purchase of this couch gave me extreme overwhelm for weeks. 

But now that it is here, I have very few goals other than sitting on it in recliner and adjusting my headrest so that I have complete neck support while preparing my missives. I thought about doing a Peloton ride today--a friend urged me and suggested that missives could be written while riding. However, she has not reclined on my Costco couch yet. 

I don't know what flipped the switch and I was zero wisdom on the matter. My husband's grandmother asked me if I prayed--and I do, especially when I am in a bad, no good, overwhelmed mood. I wouldn't say that God enjoys or looks forward to those sorts of prayers. I yell in these prayers and say judgmental things like "DO BETTER GOD" and then immediately apologize. 

I am sure if God was to get overwhelmed, I'd be a trigger, 

I do think it is like my dad always said, "Something's gotta give." And maybe my overwhelm just gave up. I mean I am sure it did not move out entirely. After all, tomorrow morning I have an IEP meeting to discuss my son, casually mention my imaginary lawyer  and to fight like hell for him. But, I have my folders full of print-outs and I have my mouth full of science and I have 16 years of IEP experience with my daughter, plus my years watching my Dad do the same for my brother. And there is old furniture everywhere in the home and messes galore and I am hosting a pasta party for Lily's crew teammates tomorrow night and I don't even have any pasta. 

And, and, and, and. . 

Well, you get it. There is a lot of stuff. But, it is just stuff to do. That's it. The overwhelm, friends, gave, at least for now.