Friday, September 23, 2022

This today (Day 266, Year 2)

Today was better than yesterday; which surprised me given my general belief that when it feels like rock bottom, that just means you are still falling. (#optimist!) And today is the anniversary of my brother's death five years ago, which adds strange feelings to everything. I never know how I will feel. Today I felt sad and grief tired, mostly, but also surrounded by the love of really good friends. 

I decided to keep with my practice of sharing three good things. This week has been humbling in so many ways and I am really grateful for that humility. Humility is often hard to enjoy when it is first served up; but once you accept it, I find being humble to be peaceful. Humility slows us down; but doesn't stop us completely. It forces us to be honest and true to ourselves and others. 

Humility is such a beautiful byproduct of love. 

Which brings me to my three good things today:

1. Good Friends

It just so happens that these good friends, both old and kinda old and new (but all young, of course!), mostly did not know what today was but surrounded me with love anyway, which when you think about it, is the best kind of friends to have. Those who love you no matter the weather are the friends you want in your corner every single day. 

2. Middle Daughters

I've been spending a lot of time with my middle daughter this month; just by circumstance and need. Chloe reminds me the most of my brother--she has big, beautiful eyes (although hers are hazel and his were blue). I was the middle in my family, too, although I mostly felt like an only child, given the paths my siblings walked. Chloe always reminds me a bit of myself as a girl and maybe even the girl I aspired to be with a big sister who loved me and a little brother who could talk to me. 

I often look at her and think what a beautiful gift it has been to be her mother--to get to raise a middle daughter who has the same eyes as my brother and her own unique gifts to bring to the world. 

3. Childhood Cancer Moms

I interviewed another childhood cancer mom today, Wendy, about her son Philip. Philip is a miracle--an example of prayer and science bringing forth a miracle cure that not only saved him but will forever save those who love him. We talked cancer, of course. And then we talked faith and God and perspective and the incredible GREAT things that came from cancer. 

Friends, there are so many great things that come from the deepest darkness. I would never trade those away. 


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