What I am trying to say is that the days this week have been extremely long and eventful and I am very tired.
Tonight, my husband the DEACON (sounds very Jesusy and elderly, right?) and me each had meetings. Deacon Mike had a Deacon's meeting (he takes them very seriously and would not allow me to chat to him while he was on mute) and I had a PTA meeting.
This is only the second PTA meeting I have attended as a Van Sciver parent for the last 7 years. I went to one when we first moved here and was overwhelmed by the townieness of it all; so I never went back. Now, I am a townie and my friends are on the board, so I feel compelled to go to the meeting, if only to get a glimpse of their beautiful faces and be supportive. Tonight, I even sat next to one of my bestie's neighbors who told me she reads my blog! It is always wonderful to meet one of my 27 fans!! (So hi, Alicia!!)
I give shout-outs to my fans when I encounter them in the radius!
Anyway the point of all this talk of how BUSY and DEDICATED and VIRTUOUS my husband and I are as community PARTNERS and VOLUNTEERS is that our children were left to their own devices for approximately 90 minutes. They are absolutely old enough to manage without an adult; however when left on their own, they have a knack for doing absolutely nothing at all while simultaneously doing everything horrible.
So no homework was done. Their bedrooms are terrifying. And I might condemn the kitchen.
I don't know why they are like this. They are very capable children who can do amazing things like navigate European cities at night all alone while their parents attend Pearl Jam concerts and give speeches about traumatic events while wearing a ball gown to a crowd of 1,000 strangers and perform a magic show with their elementary school Principal as their assistant. But they cannot be left alone for 90 minutes and be okay.
What are you going to do, right? Well, you can share your three good things, so here are my mine for the day:
1. I got my color refreshed.
Getting my color refreshed once a month is like my therapy. I download everything. I laugh and I leave with touched-up roots and today tinted eyebrows. Everyone has their favorite luxury and mine is my hair, which must be styled by Sam, who often as an array of domesticated animals for my amusement, like the cutest, tiniest dog named Bruno who nuzzled my hands while his owner massaged my head.
2. I read my brother's obituary without being sad.
David's obituary popped up in my memories today. I read it and the the funniest thing happened, I did not feel sad. I felt proud of my writing and proud that I portrayed my sweet brother for everything that he was: loving, kind, musical and a Carrington.
3. I made peace with some of my work and writing angst.
Friends, I have constant work angst. I am always a day late and at least $20 short. I worry no one appreciates me; I worry my writing isn't good. I worry I am getting too old. I worry I misunderstood the assignment. I worry my contract won't be renewed. I worry and I worry and I worry. It's all very silly because my writing is good, I am very young (at least if you age me by my hair), I ask too many questions to misunderstand and I have minimal control over my contract and budgets, so why worry.
And for a myriad of reasons, including prayer and meditation and one really positive meeting, I got to a place of peace with it all, at least for today.
By next week, there will be angsty texts written to several friends and colleagues.