Tuesday, August 30, 2022

What is there to complain, about? FIGHT ME AND I'll TELL YOU! (Day 242, Year 2)

Today has been a highly irritating day. 

I know I shouldn't complain; I've had a very spoiled and blessed summer of adventures! My children are healthy. My A1C is lower. I've lost 19 pounds (mostly from my still giant head, if you are wondering). I have meaningful work. My husband seems to like me and even love me. I have friends. I have a home. I have plenty of food to eat. I don't have flesh eating bacteria (that I know of). And I have lovely clothing and an excess of eye cream because they auto shipped it to me and kept forgetting to cancel. 

What more does a girl need? Well, a girl needs to complain, even though, as I mentioned, I know I should not. 

I am tempted to list my blessings again in an effort to stop myself from complaining, but I won't because I am very, very, very good at complaining. And whenever I publish anything that contains a list of complaints, I get so many page views that I always consider changing the name of my blog from "Yoke" (which everyone tries to spell "yolk," seriously annoying. I am not into eggs) to "Complaints." So, I think I should give everyone what they want (lest they complain about me!) and list my complaints on this very steamy, August Tuesday. 

Don't worry, I am not going to actually list all my complaints (like why do I spend several hours a day picking up random bits of trash that is tossed adjacent to the trash can?). I am going to focus on a very specific complaint: 

People who argue. 

This excludes people who debate or argue over politics or religion or have differences of opinion. I don't mind that. I love noisy, crazy discourse. This does however include people who argue for entirely different purposes, like:

1. People who argue simply to be right. 

These people are straight up mean nerds. Like legit the worst. Just make a correction; don't argue your correction. I am not a geometry proof and you don't need to prove you are so freaking smart. I care very little about most things outside of complaining. 

Author's Note: I know I am guilty of arguing simply to be right; which makes this the most irritating and complaint worthy entry.

2. People who argue to stall making decisions

Look, Susie and Simon, I don't give a rat's ass about your opinion on mundane items like if you want a comma or an "m" dash. I don't care if you want it at 1pm or 2pm on a Thursday. JUST MAKE A CHOICE! Everyone knows you are arguing and debating mundane topics just to mask your own ineptitude at making a decision. 

3. People who argue to stall performing a necessary task. 

This one exclusively belongs the complainers I birthed and continue to raise, even though they steal money from my wallet and will argue for 2 hours about picking up a piece of trash adjacent to the trash can. My children will argue and stage full domestic altercations to avoid performing simple tasks. The worst part: THIS TOTALLY WORKS. 

4. People who "silent argue"in order to avoid arguing. 

You know when someone straight up refuses to answer your question and becomes a little combative when you mention that you need an answer? Or the people who won't respond to a question for 7 business days or more? Well these people are engaging in the art of the silent argument and really the most bold and aggressive of the arguers. You will be fine and then after 10 minutes of their refusal to answer, you will turn into a raging hot head or the person who is responsible for torturing spies for the CIA. 

5. People who argue to vent their excess emotional package. 

Look passion is delightful when you are in the bedroom or pitching a product on Shark Tank. However, save the tears and stomping and over emotions for important things and do not use them to debate fork placement in the dishwasher or the rules of the big pool at our town swim club. These arguers are EXHAUSTING and disruptive. Like go design a product that helps cat change their own litter and put your emotions into winning over the Sharks. 


 

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