Tuesday, July 19, 2022

The Shouting (Day 200, Year 2)

My children love to shout.  I love knew they had a proclivity towards shouting and suspected that they enjoyed shouting. I've long been concerned that they have hearing impairments that require them to speak loudly or some sort of rare psychological issue that makes volume regulation impossible. 

But, really they just LOVE to shout. 

I think, outside of spending money, shouting might be their most favorite past time. I hope they consider adding "Looking for a partner who enjoys loud noises" to their future online dating profiles. 

Of course, if I suggest this, they will shout at me. 

Anyway, here are the things my shout love to shout about:

1. Me.

While they'd never admit it, I am their favorite shouting topic. They love to shout about me and in particular, to shout at me. Recently, the middle one has discovered she can shout over me--both physically by standing on her tip toes and angling her chin upwards and vocally, by taking big breaths and open her mouth really wide. She loves to do this. Today, she shouted over me in public over a reusable shopping bag and then laughed and skipped away. 

2. Each Other. 

Of course, they love to shout about each other and at each other. Often, they will say really horrible things very loudly, without fear (they are very French in this way) to each other. Sometimes, they like to shout very closely, so bits of spittle land on their sibling (which in turns causes additional shouting). Sometimes, they like to shout from far away so the subject of their shouting is forced to shout "WHAT" and then they have an excuse to get angrier and shout more loudly (you know because they love shouting).

3. Missing Objects. 

Each day, no less than 17 items go missing each hour. Today, one child lost their glasses and this child is legally blind without their glasses. The blind child was not the first to shout; instead there was pre-emptive shouting from the two non-blind children. Then the blind child began shouting, because she realized she was missing out on all the fun and loves to shout!

4. Homework and teachers. 

You might think summer is a reprieve from shouting about homework and teachers; but you'd be mistaken. My children have very good memories (except when it comes to missing objects and their locations); so they can conjure up the memory of a homework assignment from 2017 and the betrayal of a teacher from November 2020. Once they remember everything, then they can shout about it from the rooftops, even if it has no correlation to current events. 

5. Everything. 

Sometimes they shout about dinner conversation. Other times they shout about laundry. Some times they shout with glee and then that glee quickly transforms to shouting, quicker than ice melts at the Equator. They love to shout! THEY LOVE IT. So if they are not shouting, one could say, they are not living their lives fully. Right now, someone is shouting about Pokemon (they think they are whispering, but my glass of water is vibrating from the shouting) and someone else is shouting about a light switch and angry the light switch won't turn off with their shouting. 

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