Saturday, June 4, 2022

Writing even when I don't feel like it. (Day 155, Year 2)

I completely forgot that I needed to write in Yoke today and as a result I have nothing to write. When these "nothing to write" moods happen, I wonder why I am writing in here every single day. What is the point?

I have no idea exactly. It has just become something that I do. 

I've been thinking a lot about the man from my town who walked all around the world with his dog. His name is Tom. I also have no idea why he walked all around the world. But, I get it. It was an idea and then that idea became a fixation and then he was compelled. 

I imagine there were days he did not feel like walking. 

And sometimes he could not walk on his world walk; I mean he could not walk to Antartica, he clearly had to take a boat to get there.

I was getting to some point that feels a little out of reach--but I guess the point is even though I will write everyday here, because this my own world walk of sorts, there are times when writing will feel out of reach or times when I cannot put the words together. There will be times where I feel I cheated with a super short blog or cheated with a long blog that makes very little sense. Or other times when there are things eating me a life from the inside (I know it's taking a turn!) and I simply cannot write about them.

Or times like tonight when I just don't feel like sharing my inner most thoughts and sort of want to be left alone to make sense of them because they feel simply, out of reach. 

But all of that aside, I will still write something everyday, even if no one reads it (I suspect my husband does not even read everyday anymore; but this could be my paranoia), because it is just something that I do. I had this silly, without a purpose idea and I feel compelled to do it, even when I just don't feel like it. 


No comments:

Post a Comment