Please excuse my lateness (Day 166, Year 2)

Dear Readers, 

Tonight, I am writing past midnight because of a series of things that are very complicated. I know I do not have to write an excuse note to the 17 regular readers and the 30 semi-regular skimmers of my blog. However, I am conditioned, as way of being a mother with school age children, to provide explanations when children or their assignments are ridiculously late.

Like Tuesday, Chloe was late because of rain and people who cannot handle the rain and operating their motor vehicles and umbrellas in the rain. But I am getting distracted; back to me and my lateness. 

Tonight, I am writing past midnight while standing up and having my laptop plugged into one of the few modern outlets that exist on my second floor. I first attempted to write in my office, where I perform a myriad of professional and highly sophisticated work duties ranging from planning email marketing campaigns for a very large consumer brand to decoding cutting edge science for a cancer non-profit to marketing homebrew supplies (which is surprisingly complicated). 

I could not write in there because the sock bin was dumped out as if someone had been invited to do the Double Dare challenge in our home and had to find a tiny object in the sock bin. The person who dumped out the socks was indeed no where to be found; so one can assume they either found what they were looking for or simply were booted from the Double Dare challenge. Since they are not there, I cannot ask them the outcome. 

Also in my very professional space is some sort of modern art installation (see photo) called "Tissues on the Guest room bed when there have been no guests."

None of this had gone on prior to my workday. Apparently the afternoon and evening was very busy in my place of business. 

So, anyway, somehow my laptop was unplugged and given the crime scene like vibe, I cannot write in there. 

There were a few distractions earlier: the assembling of teacher gifts, the bellowing for my children to sign teacher cards with their names, not just a creative scribble and of course, our evening sojourn around the neighborhood, which turned out to be very intriguing. First, there was the mysterious growling, which I assumed was a wolf engaged in a fight with a raccoon. Of course, there are no wolves fighting with raccoons in my neighborhood. Instead, it was my beloved neighbor and her tiny dog who is terrifying in the dark.

After that we returned home and watched a Melissa McCarthy sitcom on Netflix; which led us to recall a documentary we once watched while at Diamond Beach in North Carolina. The documentary was about spontaneous human combustion. Mike found the 1996 documentary on the internet and we began watching.

It is very disturbing and I cannot wait to finish it! So many memories of an evening spent at the beach worrying that I might spontaneously combust; only to learn, that now, I possess the actual risk factors for spontaneous combustion. 

So, I will not be able to sleep for some time. 

Anyway, I guess to summarize why I am late, it is because I am concerned about spontaneous combustion, wolves and of course, the sock bin.