Thursday, May 12, 2022

5 Things That Make Me So Bored (Day 132, Year 2)

My Nana used to tell me "only boring people get bored." I would secretly roll my eyes about this hours later, when I was safely back at my home in Pennsylvania and she was in New Jersey. I was scared of what she'd say if she saw me rolling my eyes; probably something about cursing me to blindness.

The thing is, I am definitely NOT boring. I mean, maybe I am boring because I am bored. 

Did I mention I was bored? SO BORED. 

Anyway, here is my list of things that bore me lately. Let me know if you have any completely impractical suggestions on how to spice things up. (Practical suggestions are boring.)

1. Words. This one is a bit of a problem because I am a writer. WRITING AND ITS ASSOCIATED WORDS ARE BORING ME. It's all very apocalyptic and definitely a situation; but I am bored. Bored with everything I write and bored with reading things people have written! I am bored with my made up words like "Sciency" (although on a slightly bright note, I did get a real-life PhD scientist to begin using SCIENCY in her daily communications). Words are dull. Dull like a cheap, old table knife from Kmart. (remember Kmart?)

2. Food. I am sick of thinking about food, wondering which foods will make me vomit, pondering which will send my blood sugar skyrocketing, making food no one eats and thinking about what to eat. I've suddenly only be able to muster enough energy to make taco salad. And now I am bored with taco salad, which is pretty much rock bottom. 

3. Peloton. I am bored with my Peloton and even my beloved Boo Cody Rigsby has been unable to make me less bored. I just like spin the pedals around and think about how mundane it all is. Round and round, blah, blah, blah, snore, it's boring. 

4. Gossip. Friends, I love a good story especially when it is about someone else and definitely when it is about someone I don't like. I know, I know, I am the worst kind of asshole. BUT WHATEVER, I am being honest and raw. Anyway, I don't even care for gossip anymore. I try to muster up some interest and then I just grow bored. I blame all of you, by the way, for not doing anything scandalous. Someone needs to become a serial shoplifter or like reveal they have a secret family or something, please! 

5. My Routine. I have so many recurring meetings (all boring, sorry to my brilliant colleagues. It is not you, IT IS ME). School is at the same time every day (dull!). And, as I mentioned, I am eating taco salad all the time. Plus, I now have to have a Chobani Madagascar Vanilla Less-Sugar yogurt daily and an apple. Why? BECAUSE I AM NOW OLD AND SET IN MY BORING WAYS. 

One thing that isn't boring: my Ozempic injection day, which is tomorrow. However, how boring is it to be excited by diabetes medication?



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