Sunday, April 10, 2022

100 Days of Talking About Me. (Day 100, Year 2)

It is day 100 of my second year of writing every single day in Yoke! A milestone, friends! In honor of this milestone let's talk about me (like we always do!). 

I assume that my loyal readers enjoy me talking about me, because they seem to come back every day! So, I am going to keep on with the narcissism and self-centeredness and absolute insufferable confidence and continue talking about ME! Tonight: let's talk about my favorite "Me" subtopic: my vanity! 

Last night, a few friends mentioned that I am very photogenic and that I never take a bad picture. 

This friends is one lie and a truth. The lie is that I am photogenic (I AM NOT!) and the truth is I would never post a bad picture of myself. 

I mean who would do such a thing? 

I have my husband to post bad pictures of me on milestone occasions (saves me the trouble!). 

One year, he posted a picture of me on my birthday. In the picture I am holding radishes with an odd look on my face. The radishes were just plucked from our garden and the look on my face is one that says: "I am thinking about eating these radishes, " or just as likely, "I just murdered someone with a garden rake. They deserved it and I am not sorry."

And I know I just said I would never post a bad picture of myself, but I changed my mind! Tonight is all about bad pictures, like the radish one:


Another favorite is from first thing in the morning, when I am without my face and also, apparently without my neck, but I am fully dressed in chins and confusion. It was Mother's Day and what bettered way to celebrate my beauty, than with an unfiltered view of me, a vision of naturalness:


Anyway, I am going to stop right there, because I've deleted all the other horrible pictures of myself. And even if I did not, this is as far as I can take it.  My husband is terrified of me, so he rarely photographs me anymore (our family albums are populated with selfies of myself so my future ancestors don't believe my husband was a single father!). 

Before you think of me as very vain (I am!), I also want everyone to acknowledge that you'd never print, frame and hang an unflattering photo of yourself in your house. In fact, I often print, frame and hang photos in which I look wonderful and everyone else looks questionable. If they wanted to look good, they could have tried harder to look at camera and they could have also made the effort to print, frame and hang photos!

I seriously have to do everything around here. 






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