The Family Tree (Day 83, Year 2)

Well, things continue to be very exciting around here. In fact, at this very moment, Lily is building out her family tree (going back 4 generations!) in order to predict if her future grandchildren will have freckles or color blindness. I've texted an array of people strange ancestral questions. 

And it does not help that there is basically a missing generation between me and my father. He was 57 when I was born; so all my first cousins on my Dad's side are around 70. Everyone else is dead (and some of these people were alive before photography, so who knows what they looked like. They could have had one eye and a giant schnoz.) Plus, I am basically an only child, now (one dead brother and one sister on the lam in Florida). And I don't know my Grammy Carrington's mother's maiden name. She was named Amelia and born in Germany; but there is nothing else. Who was Amelia (MAIDEN NAME A MYSTERY) Keyes? 

No one seems to know, which is absolutely the worst thing I can imagine. I am so glad I have this blog to serve as proof of my existence and I am glad I kept my maiden name as part of my name, so no one forgets me! Hello FUTURE ANCESTORS!! 

Anyway, I wondered if one can inherit "con artist skills" or "laser eyes" and Lily rolled her eyes, audibly, which I think is a trait she did inherit from me. 

These family history projects bring up a lot of shit. Families are so complicated. 

I wonder if her biology teacher realizes the complete madness that has ensued over this project. Lily is hysterical--and annoyed her maternal grandfather had so many siblings and annoyed at the spelling of Croatian and Ukrainian names on her father's side. I am still very upset about this Great Grandmother Amelia situation and will spend at least 3 hours on trying to find her German parents. 

On a sidenote, my father told me that his Grandmother Amelia was very strict and kept a Cat-o-nine tails by the door to beat them. He always seemed more irritated by this than traumatized. But he grew up in the Great Depression, so really his perspective was a bit off. 

Anyway, now there is new controversies over color blindness on all sides of the family. My mother claims my brother was color blind (not based on science or diagnosis; but instead based on a "feeling and sense"). My sister-in-law says my father-in-law is color blind and this is why my mother in law picks out his clothes.  My husband says his father is not color blind. His brother says he is. I've sent several insane messages demanding the truth. But, the only person who can tell us definitively (my father-in-law) is in Mexico. 

So, naturally I am requesting his medical records and assembling a panel for a formal inquiry. 

I'll keep you posted. 


Don't even get me started on the tongue rolling investigations. It is exhausting. And debates over moles versus freckles. If our family remains intact after this evening we can withstand any controversy. 

And once this is over, I am putting all this information on my family tree for my future grandchild (hi, guys! I know your parents read my blog to you at bedtime!) so they do not have to endure this nightmare.