Friday, February 18, 2022

Some Updates from the Offices of Yoke (Day Something, Year 2)


Friends, it is FRIDAY! I had a day, today. I imagine you also had a day, today, because each day is a day because that is the identical word. 

Right? I think I am right. 

Well, my day started normally: wordle and quordle time, sibling arguments, some hair braiding, someone borrowing my clothes, coffee with one scoop of collagen and driving the youngest to school in my jammies, while fielding questions about storm water run-off, the incident rates of childhood cancer and how a Urkranian citizen could secure a travel visa when the Embassy is closed. 

Spoiler: THEY HAVE TO KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY TO GET OUT DODGE! 

My son really has to become a journalist or a talk show host when he grows up and start asking other people all these questions!

And then my day got even more normal because one of the schools called (exactly 17 minutes before a very important professional meeting!) with some sort of issue with one of my children. Everyone is fine. No one is suspended nor have they won any particular awards (which is always disappointing! We are achievers! Someone deserves at least a certificate printed out and signed with a real pen by a principal!). 

It is NOT disappointing that no one was suspended, of course. However, if I am being both frank AND candid, it would be a relief. I am currently "just waiting for it," and the suspense has me on the edge of my seat everytime the school calls, which is often three times a day. 

I calmed down the administrator who had to deal with my kid and everyone went on with their Fridays! I charmed my way through my meeting and then cleared my head to think about the things that matter most: french toast casserole for the crew team, Wordle2 (6 LETTERS!! Twice a day!), showering (still hasn't happened. Everyday, I am so glad they never invented Smell-a-vision as promised), my Peloton and of course work things like childhood cancer and influencers and baby food innovations and homebrew competitions. 

There is a lot that happens in the offices of Yoke! In fact, someone slept in a pile of laundry in the Yoke HQ last night (and it wasn't the cat). Other things that go on: excessive coffee, tea and vitamin use. I added "Ultra Goodbye Stress" to my list of supplements. It is not marjuana, surprisingly! I was able to buy at Target, so I think it contains medicinal herbs that make you feel like you just bought the cutest thing in the whole wide world that will make your house look very Instagramable. I doubled my dose and my eye stopped twitching, so I think it works!

Other notable events here: 

  • I swabbed my dog to get a DNA sample (I suspect he committed crimes! JOKING! I want to find out what kind of mutt he is!); but I've lost the envelope with the swabs (a plot twist for the Murder She Wrote reboot). 
  • My son ate his sisters' Valentine's Day candy and then stole money from my wallet to pay for it. 
  • I planned a 16th birthday party for child. Which is intense, because I am only 16. 
  • I just ate a Ferrero Rocher chocolate and now my stomach hurts. 
So, that's the DAY I had Friends. Enjoy your holiday weekend celebrating the Presidents and days off from school while you work from home (like 2020!). 




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