Wednesday, February 23, 2022

In the spirit of doing my best. (Day 54, Year 2)

Yesterday was frustrating. Today was nearly perfectly normal and lovely in its own way. And then I got the New York Times alert about Russia and the Ukraine and now I am partially spiraling. 

I was so prepared to sit down and write about my unexpectedly great day; which I think is the result of taking my therapist's advice and ending my day in gratitude and letting all negative things go for the night. Now that all seems silly, given that somewhere in the Ukraine there is a mother, just like me, scared for her children and their lives. And there is a mother in Russia with the same fears. And there are mothers everywhere just scared. 

I hate that, you know? I hate that for eons the kings of the world have engaged the people in wars. Of course, we are all responsible in one way or another for all of this. Human beings are so messy and messed up. The world is forever unstable. I don't really believe we can ever fully control the instability in the world, try as we might. It is like a game of Whack-A-Mole; one thing ends and another was already halfway out of its hole. 

In the end, we are left just trying to do our best, I guess. Walking in faith that somehow our best will amount to something that glorifies God and goodness and peace instead of the Devil and evil and war. In the spirit of doing my best, here are the things I am grateful for, tonight:

I am grateful for my friend Caroline and for her husband Chris, who served our country in the Air Force. I grateful for their daughter Maddie. And I am so grateful they count me as their friends. 

I am grateful for my friend Kate, who makes me laugh every single day, lifts me up in prayer whenever I ask, would happily set a table in front of my enemies with me and loves me. 

Speaking of Kates, I am grateful for my high school friend Kate, who I haven't seen in forever, but I'll love forever. 

I am grateful for lilies, because they look so beautiful and fragile; but they can bloom anywhere and thrive, sort of like my Lily. 

I am grateful for my husband and his Ukrainian heritage because it reminds me that wars are not fought by countries, but they are fought by people. 

I am grateful that I can write in this blog everyday, with worrying about who reads it (mostly because my mother does not read it, so really, I can write anything!). 

I am grateful for Lina at Nordstrom who whisked me aside, taught me how to draw a cat eye and gave me 15 minutes of frivolousness, because those moments are so lovely.

I am grateful for my amazing, spirited, busy, loud, glorious, exhausting children. 

I am grateful for my husband who makes me one fried egg, nearly every single morning and empties the dishwasher at least 4 times a day. 

And I am grateful that my father taught me how to pray when I was a little girl, so tonight I can pray the prayers that we all should be praying for a world of peace, not one of war. 

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