(I am resorting to ridiculously annoying metaphors to fill the screen.)
When I asked my family what I should write about tonight, my newly minted 9-year-old boisterly exclaimed: "YOU SAID YOU WOULD WRITE ABOUT MY NARWHAL." I am absolutely not going to write about his narwhal anymore than I've already been forced to by sharing this delightful little anecdote.
(I am also resorting to the use of extra adjectives and adverbs, like I am some sort of flowerly Victorian greeting card writer for the Queen. Despesarate times, friends.)
Anyway, I am getting way off track, but perhaps not as reading this flowery nonsense might count as an unusual experience for some. I often have unusal experiences. I think I attract them like a flower attracts a butterfly (metaphors!) and I think I also live in a very interesting little enclave that few know exists. Also, my house is old and is definitely haunted, in a lovely way, by lovely spirits who randomly turn on Christmas tree lights after I remark that a tiny tree in my living room should be illuminated (that happened last week.).
1. I sent someone a friendly ransom note from a new secret email account that I have. They have not replied, but I hope they realize one of the mispellings was intentional. If you are wondering why I am sending out ransom notes from secret email accounts, well, it is all part of my strange professional life.
2. In a related unusual interaction, I had a poem about me read to me during a professional meeting by a mystery person. It was a lovely poem! At the time, I thought it was the first time someone wrote a poem about me. My husband, who is both a POET and an ENGINEER and a MYSTERY PLUMBER, corrected me. He's written me poems, which were of a different tone than my professional poem that mentioned my blogging skills (which are very retro, by the way!) and my inspirational characteristics. (Like how I inspired that ghost to turn on some lights.).
3. I exchanged a small child for an onion. I needed an onion. My neighbor wanted their child back. I sent out an onion SOS mayday text, which I guess was sort of like a ranson note. The onion appeared and the child disappeared (back to their home, not like disappeared, disappeared. Everyone is safe, except the onion. I put that in the food processor for the best salad dressing ever!)
4. Speaking of salad, I was yelled at over leftover salad, because apparently no one can hear anything in the kitchen. I had to scream, "DON'T SAVE THE SALAD," and now my throat hurts. As a result of my throat hurting, I am going to take my temperature 5 times between now and midnight, in case my sore throat is not salad screaming related and is instead pandemic related.
5. I had one meeting moved 7 times in one day. Meetings move all the time; but I feel like 7 is a record. This meeting was not related to the ransom note or poem professional situations; which makes it more unusual.
6. My children had no activities after 5pm. We all ate dinner together and now we are hanging out quietly, doing our parallel activities and enjoying our home, like a family from the 1950s. This friends, is the most unusual and really the best thing ever.
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