I have been feeling a little aggressive today. I am not exactly sure why; I imagine this is some sort of stage in the grief process. I am also not sure what I am grieving exactly or even if I am grieving. But my aggression is definitively related to some sort of latent trauma that I am not yet consciously aware of, but that I am going through by following the appropriate coping steps, which include aggressively pushing my cart into another cart in the pet food aisle at Walmart.
They were not staying in their lane and also not wearing a mask while coughing. They deserved everything they got from me.
I am fine! Everything is fine! I am just a little angry, maybe.
I am not angry at anyone in particular. I am, at the present moment, angry at myself for boldly deciding to write this blog every day and then waiting until 11-something-pm to write. I am also angry at the weather person on the news going on and on about the rain coming and using ridiculous, flowery words like "meandering," to over personify the storm and give us all anxiety.
I am on to you LADY! Stop making us scared of normal things, like rain!
I am also mad that I cannot find my good nail file. I really want it. And my toe nail clippers. I am also missing my good mascara and several eye shadow brushes. Just listing my missing hygiene items annoys me.
Also the word hygiene makes me angry. It is a stupid word and reminds me of the word HINEY, which I googled and now have to clear my internet history and pray no one is compromising my search history, because the definitely of HINEY is not for ladies to read!
I am also mad by the sheer volume of emails I receive about everything school related. Sometimes it is approximately 7/day from 3 different schools, plus additional dance, field hockey, French trip, crew, confirmation class and church choirs emails. Then in an enraging twist, I will NOT receive things I'd like to receive in my email. Like the important bulletins from the Principal. I never get those!
But now, at least, I've written enough words to be considered a blog. AND friends, I am not remotely angry about that. In fact, I am, in my own roller coaster of emotions way, suddenly overjoyed that I made it this far and that you are reading this.
See, everything IS fine!