On 18 Years (Day 215)

I love this picture of Mike and I. It was a quick, effortless selfie—one snap, not posed and we look so happy; because we are.

When I look at the happiness in this picture, I know it did not come easy. That’s what I love most about this picture: the truth that lies behind it. And what I love the most about my marriage is our mutual work that results in true, deep happiness.

And man, marriage is a lot of work. It is not a magical, romantic fairy tale. Marriage is a real, roll-up your sleeves, put your ego aside, take a big breath kind of endeavor. It is forgiving things that others might find unforgivable. It is doing unforgivable things and feeling the grace of forgiveness.  It is sometimes keeping your thoughts to yourself and other times saying hurtful things.  It is not that we ever do anything horrible to each other--it is just that we are two separate human beings that are trying to live as one. 

Things can be complicated because we are each complicated. 

Marriage is disagreeing on nearly everything; but then agreeing on one thing: each other. 

Some days, we argue more than we don't. There are times when one of us is so infuriated it is hard to let go of the fury. There are days we barely see or speak to each other at all, as we are passing ships running kids and careers and this household. Some days, Mike is far away for work. Other days, I am far away in my head, writing or creating something. 

It’s hard to feel connected when the head space and the physical space between us is vast. But, we both are committed to always pulling each other in; reminding each other how much we choose each other 18 years ago and how we will choose each other everyday, for the rest of our lives. Our marriage is s sacred space of love and grit and work and joy and happiness. 

Happy Anniversary to my partner in hard work, occasional naps, parenting and happiness. I love you Mike and I choose you every single day, always.