As I write this, I am a prisoner in my own home because I am avoiding my neighbor who is often in my garage or my yard.
He's sort of a clinger.
But, isn't it ridiculous that I am a grown woman hiding from my neighbor? I mean he is not alone, my husband is with him, but it feels like I am interloping on them when this is my property to not be interloping on.
It's like that imposter thing I wrote about last night. I am sometimes unable to confidentially take up the space which is mine to take up. And while this clinger neighbor has total boundary issues, might be a stalker and needs to learn social cues, this problem is specifically one that belongs to me.
I often hide from people, many people. After all, this is the only way to be a mature adult--hide and don't confront anything. Who has time to deal with problems head on?
Here are the 4 (other) people that I've been hiding from lately:
1. The Cleaning Ladies
The cleaning ladies are lovely and as their name suggests, they clean. Which means they see all our filth in an up close and personal way. I am not even able to truly look at the mess and debris I create. It is too much reality and too much self-awareness. So, when they come (every other Tuesday and truly we could use them every Tuesday and Thursday), I hide from them. I use my children to communicate directly. I might hide in the basement or simply "go out" for the 5 hours it takes to clean this place.
Today, they even cleaned the toilet plunger.
I can NEVER LOOK THESE PEOPLE IN THE EYE.
2. All School Principals (except my neighbor, but it took me a little while)
I am not a fan of school principals. Frankly, they scare me. I avoid them. I will be on pretend phone calls when I see them at school pick up. I will not make eye contact when they speak to me. I will send my husband to all principal meetings. Once, I saw one of our principals at a friend's swim club. We were in bathing suits. I went and swam alone in the baby pool, WITHOUT A BABY.
The only exception to this is my neighbor, who is a school principal. I did try to avoid her for at least 6 months; but then she wore me down and promised she was retiring sometime soon.
She still hasn't retired, so I am still a little suspicious.
3. All Delivery People
So, about a month or so ago, I was accidentally sent 153 cases of baby food. It was a HUGE error. But, nonetheless, 153 cases of baby food were placed at my front door. This caused a spectacle in my neighborhood. Children came over and began arranging the boxes into a fort. Then, they used the boxes as a protection in a Nerf gun war.
Then, the delivery people can to come back and pick up all 153 cases of mistakenly delivered baby food.
The shame!!! SHAME!
So, I run from those people all the time!
4. All the People I Cannot Name
Anyway there are SEVERAL other people I am avoiding, but if I list them here my avoidance game will be blown up and all my hard work avoiding them will be for nothing.
So, if you are reading this, I am absolutely (well maybe, I mean, who knows) NOT avoiding you! I am just very busy and have to walk fast to get
away from you to my car because I have some sort of writing emergency and a call! I always have a very important call, so talk to you never later.