Working Through Blessings (Day 158)

I think blessings are odd things. I don't even know if "things" is the correct word--because some blessings are not things, they are more like feelings or notions or events or circumstances. But the varied nature of blessings is not why I think blessings are odd. 

Blessings are relative.  Right now, I feel cursed with the 6 baskets of laundry I need to carry down the stairs before the cleaners arrive tomorrow morning. However, if I woke up tomorrow and all our clothing in those baskets had been stolen; I'd feel even more cursed--because the blessing of our clothing was gone.  

Your curses are blessings and your blessings are curses. It is all mixed up. 

In my world, we are constantly being told how much worse we could have it. In these times of childhood cancer strife, it seems very easy for people who have not walked our path to tell us how we should count our blessings or how we should remember how much worse it could be. 

It seems they forget that we have actually lived some of the worst. We've had to face the chance that the worst of the worst could happen and that this consideration is not based on some irrational fear; but it is based on facts and knowledge and the truth we've lived.

Truly, I don't think anyone has a right to provide anyone else with a list of their blessings. Because again, curses are blessings and blessing are curses. Everything is so mixed up and intermingled, how could anyone decide for anyone else what their particular blessings are?

I think a better thing is to ask people what they feel blessed with and also then, what they feel cursed with. I think if someone actually asked me what I felt my blessings were, they might be surprised with my answers. But, no one ever really asks. They just tell me--oh you are blessed and then proceed to produce a relatively inaccurate list of perceived blessings. 

I know I am rambling--but this is something I am working through for myself. What does it mean to me to be blessed? Somedays, it means we are all alive and not hospitalized. Other days, it is that we are all alive and have been hospitalized and have gained wisdom from a hardship. But in both scenarios, my blessing--that thing or that notion is only available to me because I intimately know a curse. 

Maybe to be truly blessed, is to be fully aware of how cursed you are.