Wednesday, June 30, 2021

I was sexually harassed by Bill Cosby (Day 182)

I was sexually harassed by Bill Cosby. 

My story is just one moment--but one that I've thought about over and over and over again. I cannot imagine how the women who were drugged and assaulted by him feel. 

And today, he was released and his sentence overturned on a technicality. And yes, he is an old man. And yes, he most likely will not be able to drug and assault anyone (although he seems like he was a prolific rapist, so anything is possible). But, for the women he hurt--the women he assaulted--there is no peace in knowing that a serial rapist--a man with power in the public eye--is allowed to walk free and enjoy the freedom which he so cruelly and violently took away from so many. 

My story is short. I was a Freshman at Temple University and a member of the color guard--the dancing, flag twirling group that performed with the university marching band. Our color guard uniforms were all white-- a white dance leotard coupled with a white skirt. On the way to the field for our half-time performance, Bill Cosby was on the sidelines. I was so excited--I grew up watching The Cosby Show and there was Dr. Huxtable. But there is no Dr. Huxtable, there is only Bill Cosby. 

Bill Cosby who made jokes about my virginity, who said he'd gladly de-flower me, who kept going and going and going--demanding my attention, until I marched onto the field to perform in front of the stadium. I did not look up once my whole performance. I felt so ashamed by my body and by my young womanhood. I felt so naked and violated. 

It was just one short moment--a moment I've thought about endlessly all these years. It is a moment that happened in front of witnesses--the entire color guard, the band director, the drum major, the other people on the sideline. He verbally undressed me without a care in the world--a Trustee for the University I attended. Cosby was entrusted with that school and its students and its staff.  

And no one, except for my then boyfriend and now husband Mike, said a word. From that moment on, Bill Cosby was nothing but a pig to me. I was not remotely surprised when all the allegations began pouring out--of course he was capable of physical assault--he destroyed me with his words in just a moment. 

Today, the system confirmed that Cosby's actions are not serious enough, they are not vile enough to demand his sentence be upheld. The court did not say he did not do it; they just said that he reached a deal to never be charged with it. 

A guilty man who will not be held accountable and victims who will continue to learn that men like Cosby have all the power.

It is disgusting.  I don't have anything uplifting to say about this. I just have that sick feeling in my stomach over a man who does not deserve to be free and women who deserve to be free of him. 


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