Well after a few weeks of muddling through an emotional, serious period of life, I'd like to let everyone know that things are nearly 100-percent back to normal in the Adkins household. It's the night before vacation* and everything is going according to plan.
However, leprechauns, devils and all three children aside, the night before vacation is a tradition around here. I cannot say that I've missed it, exactly, but it is the gateway to the vacation, which I've absolutely missed.
Since, I know you all wish you could be watching us 24-7, here is a peak into the 5 things that happen the night before vacation:
1. The washer or dryer malfunctions.
As I write this, the dryer is running; but only the dryer, because, suddenly, if we run the dryer at the same time as the washer, the circuit blows. And then when you flick the breaker back on, the washer starts from the very beginning again. It's like a sick, demented laundry-themed version of Ground Hogs Day.
As a result, we are doing loads one at a time, which surprisingly (haha) IS NOT EFFICIENT AT ALL AND IS VERY ANNOYING.
2. Very important clothing is damaged and/or missing entirely.
Tonight, I discovered that someone, who goes by the name of Nicholas, had both a yellow and an orange pastel crayon in their pocket. So, there is one load of laundry that is yellow and orange.
Also, I am 100-percent certain all my shorts and my bathing suits will be missing. Someone will have shoved them somewhere to make room for their somethings.
Which, surprisingly, is NOT SUPER FUN AT ALL.
3. Scream Flares.
There is also a lot of scream flares afoot. Scream flares are hot and unmanageable like solar flares, and as you can imagine quite unbearable.
There was a day-long stand off over emptying the dishwasher, then some screaming over suitcase selection, followed by the annual fight over Father's Day Cards and coinciding with the "surprise catastrophic mess discovery."
Every door has been slammed. Everyone has talked back. And I am terrified of my own children.
4. There will be lingering projects I forgot.
I know and I know that I am allowed to not work and take a vacation. However, there is always one little project or one quick email to send. And then there will be something for the children or a phone call to make or plants to water or perhaps a very very very urgent package to send somewhere.
I am literally on the edge of my seat waiting for the lingering project to drop.
5. There will be issue with the suitcases.
First all the suitcases were missing. Then there was the suitcase inexplicably in a puddle in a corner of the basement. And then there were the suitcases with the zippers frozen, as if a fossil from the ice age. And then, I was left with suitcases I had to clean with an entire canister of Clorox wipes (glad I hoarded all the wipes in NJ in 2020, they came in handy tonight!).
I have not put one item in a suitcase. My plan tomorrow is to put all my items in a suitcase. They will probably be mostly damp (because of the dryer situation) and I'll forget all my bathing suit tops or something, but I'll just have a scream flare, send an email and then, give my suitcase a quick wipe with bleach and leave all those night before vacation demons behind.
* (and don't bother trying to rob us, our dog sitter and my mother will both be here. Also everything is partially broken here. )
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