Saturday, April 10, 2021

Taking a Bite Out of the Year (Day 100)

EVERYONE!

Today marks 100 straight days of writing here in Yoke!

It's so amazing. To honor the occasion, I woke up with the moon (did I mention I now get up early?), attended a very exciting partial  kid pitch (but the coach pitched) baseball game, made Italian roast beef for lunch and chicken parmesan for dinner, talked to my seedlings, did many crew parent things, like attending a meeting in a parking lot and packing snack bags in a backyard and endlessly worrying about my baby girl on the scary river in another state tomorrow (pray everyone! pray!), and of course, pulled out my lucky $100 bill and took a bite out of it!

Yes, I know money is very, very, very dirty and we are in a pandemic and yes, my mother would be horrified if she knew, so don't tell her and yes I know yesterday I was in the depths of some sort of intense, psychotic grief and it is all a lot to keep up with it. 

So, I am going to dissect and recap the past 100 days; but not like everyday, because that would take forever and I get up early now, (did I mention this?), and it is almost my bed time!

1. I made some goals! And I stuck to them, except for buying myself a desk and I did miss two days of meditation somehow. I even worked on my book here and there and an essay I want to send somewhere fancy like Woman's Day magazine! (I feel like the fact I was their FAVORITE intern in 1999 should count for something!). I've done an ab workout everyday and while I am not ready to become a fitness model; my posture has improved so much! 

Note: I really need to get a desk of my own. I am like some sort of gypsy with a laptop just wandering the house and taking very important calls in the center of the house and demanding everyone hide (silently) in closets. We have a perfectly good office/den that I don't allow anyone to use, including myself. 

2. I had several breakdowns in Yoke. I am not making light of my admissions and dark feelings,  but the truth is: I've seen some things. After my Sibling Day breakdown, I felt so much more myself today. Sometimes you have to let it out and then let it out again and again and repeat until you have a best seller! (Joking! Sort of! I am 100-percent for sale!). Anyway, I am proud of myself for remaining honest in my writing in Yoke and remaining true to my goal of writing without editing and just letting it all out. You get what you see here--some days I am discussing pornographic regency dramas, other days Jesus, the next day cataracts and then I am suddenly having a full-on mental attack over my personal trauma. 

There is always something to see here, people! 

3. I ordered at least $400 in seeds. My husband likes to repeatedly say: "I did not know you could spend that much on seeds." And I like to say: "YES YOU DO! BECAUSE YOU KEEP MENTIONING IT!" My sweet little seeds are well on their way to becoming sweet BIG plants and I really cannot wait. I've got to clean out our front yard garden and then, finalize the plans for the side yard garden that will be epic (and sure to cause family discord over it's construction) and figure out how to configure my fence strawberry and lettuce hanging garden! Here are our babies all tucked in with their plastic wrap blankets:



4. I put money in my mouth. So, this was just today and I feel I owe you the lucky $100 bill story! At my father's funeral, my cousin Sue, gave me the $100 she won betting on a horse named "Bill's Promise." My dad was Bill and the Carrington's like betting on horses. She told me it felt like a sign and I have no doubt it was! I tucked that hundy in my wallet and kept it close--a reminder of the value of a long shot, the importance of a poker face and that my Dad was always watching out for me. A couple years later, I was plant shopping somewhere and my wallet fell out of my diaper bag. It was never recovered and lost was my lucky hundy. Well, I decided to get a small supply of lucky hundreds and I keep them tucked in all my wallets. When I was trying to think of what to write tonight, I knew I had to share this story!

5. I am no longer an imposter. Okay, I am total imposter when it comes to being a very good Jesusy woman and an imposter when it comes to giving laundry advice. And in 2020, I felt like I was an imposter when I'd tell someone I was a writer. If they asked me what I wrote, I'd say: "Whatever anyone pays me to write!" and then immediately feel like a total fraud. 

While, I will absolutely write for anyone paying me, the truth is, my writing is this: it's Yoke, it's my stories, it's a laugh, it's a cry, it's a complaint, it's a bad joke, it's filled with typos, it's sometimes gorgeous and other times hard to look at. I am a writer. And this is my art. 

So with that, dear Yoke-readers, thank you for reading for 100 days (or maybe like 3 days, I am not tracking your reading habits!). So many of you have seen me in real life and told me you actually read and enjoy my writing. This means more to me than I can express without looking like a total loser. Truly, what a gift your readership is! It makes my heart happy and reminds me that I am a real writer! 

I am not writing for people not to read, so, if you like a Yoke, share it. And then share it again and then demand your friends read it and share it. Just mention that your writer pal Trish is both a hoot and deeply disturbing (and desperate for readers). 

Happy 100 Yokes! 


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