I think one of the hardest things about writing here is all the things I can't write about.
We all know there are things we cannot be fully honest and open about in a public forum (even if only about 12 people read this blog). Although, I guess the more correct statement is that we can write and speak about anything we want; but the consequences are always there.
I can't write in full honesty about work stuff or friendship or marriage or family because I cannot handle the consequences of that. Nor do I ever want to hurt anyone or anything. And it is not that I have to write anything particular in any of these areas or maybe I do, but I am not here providing you with clues to guess the things I am not going to write about.
If you are an adult you probably have the same, general list of things you cannot write or share with the world. So, take that personal list and imagine it is my own.
For me writing is both my profession and my outlet. But, sometimes there are things that I don't even want to write in my personal journals. Things that are so difficult and feel so big and dangerous and unwieldy. Things that I cannot even begin to understand or accept for myself and certainly cannot bear the thought of the world judging.
We've all got those things, right?
I suspect that all those things you can't write about in real life are the very things people need to hear and connect with. These are things that can pull us closer together--make us feel seen and not judged. These are things that allow us to understand how okay we all are in our brokenness.
But honesty and disclosure are hard: we can't always find the place or the person to be honest with and often. We can't trust even ourselves to take on the job for us. It is a conundrum--and I really don't have the solution.
Unraveling difficult things is hard. Sharing our truest emotions is impossible--sometimes grasping at the words to share those things is like a puzzle with missing pieces.