I've had a bit of an idea dry spell this week. I suppose it is natural to have these ebbs and flows in
Of course, by that point, those ideas will be vintage and I'll no longer want them, so off to the writers thrift store they will go for another day between then and never.
I had hopes that the full pink moon would give me some creative energy, but really I think it's just made my family develop mood disorders. There has been a lot of yelling and complaining and more yelling and then more complaining this week. Not by me, of course, I am perfectly even in my temperament except for 23 hours out of the day. Anyway, the point of all this is:
The moon has failed me. I am having a dry spell. And I cannot ever see when I won't be having this dry spell, because it seems like there is nothing to write about at all. The few ideas I have are so large and impossible that I really might save for another lifetime or like leave in my will for my great grandchild to finish up (along with my plans to build a lazy river around my house.).
I Googled "Writing Prompts," which lead me to writing prompts for fourth graders that were super lame ("Tell us about your favorite pet!" What if I don't have a pet! They are shaming the pet less!). Then I Googled "Writing Prompts for Adults" which were also super lame ("Write a letter to your future self" What about living in the moment!!). Then I Googled "Adult Writing Prompts" which were decidedly not lame but of a different, pornographic nature ("Write about your fantasies!" GROSS!) And then I Googled "Adult Writing Prompts that are not pornographic" and those were even more pornographic and I cannot even give you an example of the things I read without blushing and being put on another watch list.
Ever the philanthropist, I realized that there is a desperate need for exciting, non-pornographic, non-lame, non-stupid writing prompts for the prompt-less! So, here I am with FIVE (5!!) writing prompts that even your grandmother will love (I mean maybe. I don't know your grandmother.):
1. Recap Season One of Your Favorite 90s Series. (i.e. Beverly Hills 90210!!). This requires a commitment to rewatching your favorite series--and in the 1990s, they had like 22 episodes. So grab the popcorn bowl and your reporters notebook and get ready to rock at your vintage TV recap.
2. Make a List of Complaints. I love LISTS of complaints. I mean there is so much to complain about. With this prompt, I suggest you are very specific in your complaining. The more specific you are, the more opportunity there is to create other specific complaint lists. Some complaint starters: parents at school drop-off, your mother, the weather, the pandemic, homework, your children, your pet (if you have one! if you do not, no shame!! It is just a suggestion), Good Will Hunting (it's so boring), the Velveteen Rabbit (it is sadistic!), fake British accents, people in general and people who park directly in front of your door, as if they are the limo waiting to pick you to go to your red carpet premiere party, but that isn't remotely true, they are just jerks.
If you have no complaints, then I cannot help you. You should not be writing. You should be spreading your delusional joy in a cult.
3. The Last Thing You Purchased Product Review. The last thing I purchased was a bag of organic gumdrops from Whole Foods. I am not providing you the link to the product, because these gumdrops are a rare commodity and I don't need any more competition when it comes to purchase. Sorry I got sidetracked, this is not about me! You could review whatever you ordered at midnight from Amazon or whatever you purchased on your Target run. People love product reviews!
4. Something with a 'Trigger Warning." Whenever I see "Trigger Warning" at the start of a blog or social post, I totally have to read it, even though I know it will probably haunt me for days. You don't even have to write anything traumatic, just slap "Trigger Warning" at the top and write about legos or pickles. You can follow me for more expert tips on Instagram!
5. A numbered list of Writing Prompts. Look at could barely come up with five and as evidenced by my writing research, everyone else is struggling too. So be a philanthropist and do another writer a solid and come up with your own numbered list of writing prompts for the prompt-less.
PS I could not even come up with my own photo for this blog post and took a screenshot of my husband's Instagram post. I am not even going to link to him, because I am that depraved.
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