Thursday, March 25, 2021

Today is Wednesday, No Where (Day 84)

Well, friends, it has been yet another day here (what day is anyone's guess!).  I am very lucky, but I am finding the general basics of life to be very trying lately. I survived the second dose of my COVID vaccine; but I cannot survive a weekday, apparently. 

I thought today was Wednesday, even though I did several Thursday things, like send Nicholas to school. There is no where that today was Wednesday because today is Thursday. This has happened before as the result of Daylight Savings Time, Holiday weekends, wine and other issues I am forgetting. 

I have no idea why this confusion happened today, on day that is clearly marked on the calendar as Thursday. I did not miss any meetings, thanks to couple gentle text reminders ("WHERE ARE YOU" "ARE YOU JOINING US") and some very direct phone calls ("TRISH, I'LL PATCH YOU IN," I apparently work with people who use ham radio language to communicate). And Chloe has no idea that I almost forgot to pick her up from school. 

Anyway, here are some other things that happened on the day I thought was Wednesday but was actually Thursday:

1. We woke up to our daughters screaming at each other over pants. Then I heard a woman screaming and realized it was me. Anyway, things happened as a result of this (including that I am terrified of waking up in the morning) and I fully blame my children for the BIG thing that happened (see item 2)

2. Swearing is now banned in our household. I absolutely DID NOT CREATE NOR DO I CONDONE OR SUPPORT THIS RULE. But, of course, it is a very grown-up, posh, civilized rule and my husband is not often creating any sort of rules, so I am going to do my best to be compliant. I am not sure if I am allowed to say "Shut The Front Door" or "Holy Crow" or "Something Else Quirky That Everyone Knows is Really Fuck." I do know that swearing has not been banned in my blog, because this is a free country and I have free speech. 

3. I sprayed Nicholas with Febreze before he left for school because he smelled. Nicholas referred to the Frebreze as "Boy Perfume," because this is not something that has happened in isolation. 

4. Nicholas also had something stuck in the back of his hair.  I brushed it out but it left blue debris. To remove the debris, I pretended to be silly and used my blow dryer to blow out the mysterious blue flecks of whatever was in his hair. I was not being silly. I simply did not want to be know as the mother of the boy with blue debris in his hair. 

5. I packed Nicholas a "snack lunch." I'll let you in on a little secret, "snack lunch" is really code for we have nothing for lunch and I throwing in random packets of things I find in the pantry and refrigerator. His special lunch consisted of a variety of pouches, several granola-type bars, a slightly soft orange, a coffee flavored yogurt unsuitable for children and a flavored seltzer (I am 97% sure it was NOT a hard seltzer). I'll upload the photo on Pinterest, so you can all recreate the "snack lunch."

6. I became my grandmother. When I was a sophomore in high school, my Grammy Carrington took my high school yearbook and identified the boys with good teeth, who she felt would be ideal love matches and had high earning potential. (Note: My family loved to bet on horses and she was like 90 then, so I think she confused boys for horses) Anyway, a nice boy in a collared shirt tried to chat with Lily and I yelled at her for blowing him off. He had a nice shirt! And his hair was debris free! (I could not see his teeth because of the masks.)

7. Chloe made it clear that my music is not cool. I was totally rocking out to the Screaming Trees and then practically screamed with joy when Heart-Shaped-Box came on the 90s Grunge Apple Music channel as we were driving home from lacrosse practice. Chloe looked me and said: "YOU ARE NOT COOL AND I AM PUTTING MY MASK ON SO NO ONE RECOGNIZES ME." (I will have to work hard to find her a love match with that attitude!) 

8. I got to go INSIDE A SCHOOL. Lily's high school Play-Movie "Dreams" premiered tonight at the high school! We got to go inside and sit in the auditorium. The Play-Movie was amazing and Lily was "Nancy Storm" the weather girl. Lily is always the straight man in these productions and she makes me laugh with her monotone, straight talk, as if she isn't the funniest person in the room. 

Anyway, I remembered that as a teenager I only enjoyed going into school for the socializing and the meeting of boys or the dancing to Nirvana at Homecoming, so I don't have any desire to go back into school anytime soon. I kept thinking I was going to get yelled at by some adult for something. I was glad to escape there! 

9. I overtipped the pizza cashier because I was so grateful I did not have to make dinner. She was slightly unnerved by my profuse verbal thank you's and was unreceptive to my awkward air hug gesture. But, I have to imagine it happens all the time! Cooking meals during the pandemic has become irritating to me and I not sure why. We cooked meals before. I love cooking. But, now I am just losing my steam and want to simply give up and let them eat cake (from the grocery store!) 

10. But despite it all, I've got a pretty charmed life. Right now, my sweet, polite, newly non-swearing husband is emptying the dishwasher and cleaning up the horrors from lunch in the sink, so I can write and then go exercise in the middle of the night like a vampire. Lily is doing her homework (yeah, at 11pm, she is my daughter), Chloe is upstairs dreaming of how she will rule the world and sweet little Nicholas is rubbing something blue in his hair and snuggling with his lovies. So, no matter what day it is, it is always a great (ish, I mean great is relative, right?) day, here. 


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