Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Scandalous Things That Are Not Really Scandalous (Day 76)

I did two scandalous things tonight that are not really scandalous:

I absconded* all evening responsibilities and went out to dinner with a friend!

and

I wore my flare jeans! 

I feel AMAZING!

Before I get into item one, I just want to quickly delve into item two. So, some of you may know that on Tik Tok earlier this year, there was a bold claim that skinny jeans were OUT. I was offended. You were offended. And everyone was confused. I publicly refused to ever wear flare or wide leg jeans. But then, I ordered a pair from Nordstrom, just to be prepared and tonight, I wore them. I LOVE THEM, Anyway, this is not important. Onto item one! 

I returned home and my house is completely trashed. I have zero idea if any homework was done. And I did not do any of my normal evening work. 

BUT WHO CARES. 

I mean, I do care, a little. Well, I care a lot, but I am trying not to. 

The thing is, I know I do a lot every day and every week and all the time. You probably do, too. We all do a lot. And I love doing a lot. When I have "do nothing days" like I had on Sunday, I do everything before I get to the "do nothing" and then the "do nothing" is literally almost like some sort of meltdown at the finish line of a marathon when I am wrapped in that foil blanket and crying because I finished and praising Jesus and remembering the sage advice of my grandmothers and crying. 

I mean, I think I should be able to relax without all that drama. 

But, alas, I have three very active, very dramatic children, a dog, a cat, a mother, a husband and many, many jobs and other miscellaneous responsibilities. I also have a very internally-demanding drive to perform and do more, constantly and endlessly. Every week is a never ending marathon. 

If adulthood was a sport, I'd be the person who always ends up on the podium but is not clutching the gold. 

All of this marathoning and drama is the result of a lie I tell myself. I tell myself I have to do all the things or people will judge me or my children will be judged or everyone who fail out of school or the world will end or I will fail at my career or I won't feel whole or pretty enough or smart enough or simply enough. 

But I am enough. I know this! 

The real truth is: all this stuff is noise and some of it urgent-ish noise; but none of it is actually that important and the world will keep spinning and I am not a failure and my children will graduate from high school and be just fine. 

One night of absconding from regular responsibilities will not ruin all of that. But all the drama and burn out could. 

So, I think everyone reading this should make sure to abscond once in a while. Grab a friend and abscond together. Scandalous things are not always actually that scandalous (I mean except for a 43 year old woman in flare jeans on a Wednesday night). In fact, the occasional night of absconding can actually leave you feeling, well, enough. 

* Did you know that absconded is an intransitive verb? Do you know what an intransitive verb is? Let me know if you do! 


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