Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Quicksand Season (Day 55)

You guys, I had the BEST, most profound piece planned for Yoke tonight. After an afternoon spent running/walking/getting stuck in the mud at Newton Lake, I was going to write about the absolute beauty and contradiction of Mud Season.

I imagine the piece would have rivaled "Girl, Wash Your Face,"*and offered women and men some inspiration in these days of almost-Spring filled with mud and melting.

But, anyway, you aren't getting that because then EVERYTHING BECAME A MESS.

I mentioned this situation to my good pal Kate (she is the one who does not like accents and is part of the 19-person Yoke fan club). Kate told me the most brilliant thing:

Her kids call this melting season "Quicksand Season."

And while I am not going to delve into why I think this is profound, I want to say that today went from Mud Season to Quicksand Season very quickly--with me being sucked into the distraction and frustration of my day to day life. Kate also reminded me of the horse from The Never-ending Story, who dies in quicksand at the end (I forget the horse's name and I could simply look at my cell phone, but that is like so much work when you are drowning in quicksand!) Anyway, this is the horse:


I am pretty sure the horse character dies in the story; and I think maybe the horse actor died too. All-in-all a sad story, like the one I am about to tell you. 

Okay, so we had this marvelous day! I managed to not forget about any meetings. I showered and styled my hair differently for each video call (I used my vanity in the bathroom as my desk today), we had a thematic Tortilla Chip Day lunch of chicken nachos and black bean salad, I accomplished 30 things in 15 minutes twice, I went for a run/walk/mud stomp at the lake, the kids played outside, I had my favorite turkey chili salad from the Bistro in Haddonfield for dinner (i hadn't had in a year!!) and the kids even helped get the garbage out. There was some of the normal sibling fighting. Lily rolled her eyes at me 4 times and mocked my 90s grunge music. BUT everything was great. 

Then Nicholas refused to do his homework and instead leaned into being hysterical and psychotic. He like really leaned in, like he read some horrible self-help book about how to have a tantrum.  Every math problem came with its own unique misbehavior:

5 x 2 = I need to sharpen my pencil for 10 minutes and then yell.

7 x 2 = I am going pop popcorn in the microwave and then throw it around 14 times. 

I think you get the idea. 

And I get his behavior. He's my son, so he hates being told what to do and loves procrastination. 

I went from feeling the beautiful energy of the melt and the mud, into feeling completely sucked down into the quicksand. 

I needed someone, but not the boy with the now-dead horse, because he did not save his horse, to save me from the quicksand! 

Eventually, after 1.5 hours of dysfunctional homework, Nicholas somehow pulled himself out of the hysteria and into the homework. And then played with his Transformers and yelled at me for not turning off the lights, so he could sleep. 

And now, here I am in a quiet, dark house, trying to figure out how the heck I can recover from the drowning in the quicksand. The first step for me is writing here--a perfect outlet for the challenges of day. Then maybe a little meditation (I haven't meditated yet today!) and a glass of red and some Bravo TV. I'll pass out before I finished the wine and the show; but i'll be out of the quicksand--no danger of ending up like that horse. 

*Full disclosure, this book is not about skin care. I did not make it past the first chapter. Instead, I went and got a facial and donated the book! 

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