Today was the today I was going to get my life together*
I even had a relatively video-conference free schedule, all three children in school for 4 hours and a very strategically planned out, organized list.
However, at wake up, all the children were screaming because they were surprised they had school (this happens outside of pandemic hybrid learning, too! everyday school day is like a rebirth!). So, I moved back a morning meeting just a little so I could mentally recover from the classic fight: "WHERE IS THE HAIRBRUSH, SO I CAN I HIT MY BROTHER WITH IT AND I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE EVERYONE IS INSANE" (My children recreate this fight twice during the week and once on Sunday).
But still, I had my plan.
Then, I got distracted because a good friend wanted to chat and you all know I cannot say no to talking! I figured my day was planned so perfectly, that I had some wiggle room for a quick talk. But then, my husband began yelling "Emergency! Get off the phone!" from the basement.
Truthfully, I ignored him for like a split second (long enough to feel notable to me) because, I did not want to deal with an emergency! Today I was getting my life together!
But, alas, the cracked pipe in the basement could give two shits about my plans and in fact, it was dumping actual shit,** in the basement. I feel like we had only just recovered from the December 25, 2020 basement flood (when the sump pump failed) and the November 2020 "sewage clog" at the street basement flood.
And by recovery, I mean my husband had finished taking the lead on all flood recoveries and repairs and I helped a little. Honestly, I am not good in a flood.
Anyway, there was a mess to clean up. Things to move and floor to wet vac and cracked pipes to fix. All those best laid plans--well, those had to be readjusted.
The Trish of 2020 would have done the following:
1. Began irrationally yelling and screaming about the flood.
2. Made noises like: "UGH" and "HUUUUUUH" very loudly, while my husband, who really takes the leads on sewage flood recovery looks at me in disbelief.
3. Rearranged my schedule, but not cancelled anything and instead doubled down: I'd sit on conference calls and I'd write a blog for someone and email copy on my cell phone while doing a mediocre, inefficient job with the wet vac.
The Trish of 2020 was truly the Trish of Yes! "Yes! I can do it!" "Yes there is sewage in my basement, but let's just have this 45 minute call about the budget, so I can simultaneously write a blog about beer!" "YES, No problem, I CAN DO IT ALL!" I literally was the master at saying Yes to everything--yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!
But, the Trish of 2021 is embracing the word Pause, remember? So, today I did the following, drumroll. . . . you'll never guess. . . .
I PAUSED!!!!
I paused and thought about my day plan and realized no reasonable human being would never be able to be a mediocre flood helper and complete 37 to-dos. I texted everyone: "There is actual sewage in the basement, so I am away from my desk."
A few people texted me with random requests and my answer was "No, there is sewage in my basement."
And you know what, I did not feel bad about it! The Trish of Yes would have been filled with anxiety and guilt. But not the Trish of No! I love the Trish of No! She is like the Trish of Yes--but filled with so much less complaining and insane, buzzing, dysfunctional vibrations.
I told my best friend about the new Trish of No and she kept telling me the Trish of No is actually what normal people do in a time of crisis. I still don't entirely believe her, but maybe she is right?
This is not the first time this year I've set some boundaries--I've been saying no to things I would have said yes to before. It is really freeing to just relax a little. There has been some shock and awe, amongst those who are used to the Trish of Yes, but they will get over it.
I did not cancel everything--I discerned what needed to happen and what reasonably could happen and I got that stuff done. I said NO to the unreasonable and I did that PAUSE thing.
Plus, I did wet vac the sewage flood with more focus (perhaps a natural side effect of my daily meditation and ab workouts)?
I am still not good in a flood and I am eternally grateful that my husband is good in a flood/disaster/plumbing emergency. But, I think I might be getting better.
So here's to a year of NO! (And a year without additional sewage floods. Our cup is full of that particular experience.)
*And by that I mean FINALLY write about my hair!
**By the way, the Pastor of my church shared my blog today in a church wide email, but I cannot stop saying shit. I don't know what is wrong with me. Do Presbyterians do exorcisms? Am I possessed?
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