The 5 Minute Blog About 5 Minutes (Day 18)

So, this is how this blog works. I am giving myself 5 minutes to write about 5 minutes. I set a timer. This is how it will work. I am only allowing myself to write for 5 minutes. I might end mid-sentence. I really have no idea what will happen. I did not even want to write tonight. 

I got this idea, because tonight I decided to take a 10 minute meditation instead of my regular daily 5 minute meditation. I've wanted to give a longer meditation a whirl; and then I saw a Ross Rayburn "Meditation for Healing" in the Peloton App. 

And I felt like I needed a little healing after the trauma of yesterday. 

Adding the 5 minutes to the meditation seemed like torture. I know 5 minutes does not sound like a long time; but it is double what I was going before. And in 5 minutes, lots of things can happen:

1. I could scroll through my social media feeds and find a funny meme, save it, text it to 10 friends and still have time to maybe find another one or two. 

2. I could respond to a message in my email box or my Facebook messenger. Which reminds me, I got the best message today from a long lost cousin (I mean he was not lost in reality, we just have a big family) and it made my day. 

3. I could read 5 pages of my book.

4. I could agonize over the fact I have about 1 minute left here. 

5. I could eat a piece of candy. 

6. I could open a bottle of wine.

7. I could tell everyone in my family individually I love them.

8. I could dry my hair with my new dyson! 

9. I could. . I have no idea. 

But 5 minutes seemed (the time went off right here, but I have to finish my thought) like forever when I was meditating for healing. I have no idea if I healed. But I do know that my 5 minutes of daily meditation  for the past 18 days has already made a big shift in my life. I have more room for dealing with everything--the normal, the abnormal that is normal for me, the strange, the amusing, the dramatic and the traumatic. I am holding on to so much less. 

It is like catch and release fishing for my mental state--I catch the mood/situation/drama/trauma and release it. I am no heavier for it. It just was. 

I think I wrote for 10 minutes. But, this is not surprising, if you ask my family, I have zero sense of time, I never follow the rules and I cheat at board games (I DON'T THEY JUST ARE NOT VERY FOCUSED OR DRIVEN TO WIN.). 

Anyway, I guess I have to stop now.