Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Nail Polish on the Walls (or Week 12 of Only One Thing, the Bible Study for Bad Christians.)

Does anyone have tips or thoughts on removing nail polish from ceilings and walls and floors and sinks? anything? 

I was considering matches. And fire. But this seems extreme. 

However, this is what I am dealing with:



Do you see it? It is a multitude of colors. And apparently, the nail polish has been painting itself on the walls for weeks. Like, it is nail polish that is possessed. Just yesterday, the self-empowered nail polish did this:





And then this afternoon it did this:





It is very busy, according to my five year old, who is now laying on the floor of her bedroom screaming hysterically, while I remain stress paralyzed. 

Honestly, HOW THE $$$!!!!!!! AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS?

And that's motherhood, right? A series of bizarre episodes and misbehaviors and chaotic events that leave you feeling like you are living in a mental institution as a patient. 

Because there is no escape. And there are CRAYONS EVERYWHERE. 

I totally skipped writing last week in Yoke and in my weekly #OnlyOneThing Bible Study because I was spent. One kid had shoved something up their nose, there was a HORRIFIC smell emanating from the nose and we spent an entire morning getting mystery item removed from nose. The ENT had to use nose numbing cream. (I considered stealing some for emergencies. )

The Bible does not have a verse on nail polish painting nor is there anything about nose shoving or anything about crazed mothers who are considering stealing nose numbing cream just in case all of the above happens again. 

There is nothing.

NOTHING. 

There is a long, long Proverbs about that ideal lady, you know, the Proverbs 31 lady, who is quite possibly the MOST ANNOYING WOMAN ON EARTH (I shall write about her in the near future). There are reassurances about discipline being unpleasant, but the fruits of discipline being worth it (Hebrews something or other). There are countless posts about never being alone and God loving all of us and forgiving us and on and on and on and on.  But, there is nothing that is specific to my-kid-painted-everything-in-the-house-with-nail-polish-and-not-the-cheap-kind-or-the-kids-kind-no-they-used-the-OPI-and-Essi-and-that-stuff-will-outlast-the-rapture OR my-kid-shoved-something-up-their-nose-and-now-we-are-pulling-it-out-at-the-hospital. 

NOTHING. 

Surely, the Proverbs 31 woman had to deal with such episodes--maybe little Josiah painted the hunt with some mud or shoved a chick pea up his nose. What did she do? Smile and continue doing the laundry while looking fabulous and calm? 

Honestly, there is NOTHING. 

This is the first time I've looked at the Bible and found nothing. But, then I looked up--right into my 5-year-old nail polish painter's eyes and she said, 

"Look at me, Momma.  I love you."
'
And there is it. The Bible Verse was right under my nose the whole time and I missed it because I was flapping. 

John 16:21: 
Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world.

All these episodes of chaos and misbehavior are instantly erased the moment I see my children for what they are: my love bugs, my joys and my gifts from God.  The nail polish painting and tantrums and hysteria, those are just labor pains. Those are just the tide I have to ride through to get to what has always been in front of my face. 

This week, as my children bring chaos upon my house and my psyche, I shall remember it is just the labor. Once the pain ends, the storm clears and there we will be, utterly in love with one another (and covered in nail polish, etc.).










Wonder what you've stumbled upon? Catch up on Only One Thing, the Bible Study for Bad Christians  here.

2 comments:

  1. I'll bring nail polish remover to our playdate tomorrow!

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  2. What a week! So glad you were able to find something in the good book to help. Now about that nail polish...God speed! :)

    ReplyDelete