Erm. . . I wasn't good before?
I wandered about feeling slightly insulted and I began listing all the good things I do:
- Volunteer everywhere for everything always
- Ummm, I write a JESUSY blog, for chrisssake.
- Bite my tongue when my husband insults me in a backhanded midwestern way
- Raise three children who rarely say please or thank you even though they know better because I am the most polite person ever
- Take care of adopted gigantic dog who would have ended up tied to a tree in West Virginia if it was not for me personally
- Make coffee for my husband (and then drink it for him, saving him from a life of caffeine addiction)
See, I am fabulous and really, really GOOD. And I didn't even mention:
- Offer to pray for people.
I am an "offer to pray for people" professional. And if I've offered to pray for you prior to January 13, 2014: apologies. The thing is, I most likely prayed for you. And I absolutely thought of you constantly. BUT, none of this was done in a timely fashion because I used to save my prayers for the perfect time, like at church on Sunday or at Bible study or when I was alone in the shower (rare occurrence) or when something hugely bad happened and I really needed to spend some time with God (and then I tossed every prayer I could think of in the mix).
But this week I was focusing on Luke 11:9-10:
9 So I say to you, Ask and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
This week, whenever it was apparent someone needed prayers, I prayed immediately. There was no delay. There was no saving it for later. There was no waiting for the perfect opportunity to pray perfectly or for a quiet space.
I probably prayed at least five times a day.
And it was glorious.
As far as I know no one on my prayer list was raised from the dead, given back the gift of sight or cured of leprosy. There were not any singing angels (at least that I could hear) nor were any seas parted or bushes burned.
However, I felt less disconnected. My ego left. I was not entirely self-possessed. I stopped worrying so much about my own self and my own family. I actually stopped chronically worrying altogether.
If you know me, this is all miraculous.
My prayers were going up and the blessings were raining down. Friends I prayed for came home from the hospital, they found peace from their chronic conditions and I remembered to be their friend. I remembered that being a friend is not lip service--being a friend is as simple as taking 30 seconds to pray. I felt and I still feel loved and I feel loving.
And none of this goodness had anything to do with me. Because let's face it, I am pretty rotten.
I am still praying. My prayer list has grown longer because I am actually paying attention. And the love I feel around me has grown bigger and bigger because I am actually loving everyone. Oh and I am being still (week 1, whoop!) and remembering who is in control.
See, I am a good person (loosely.).
PS Prayers are requested for: John, Campbell, Jennifer, Coop, Caroline, Michael, Stacey, Paula and Sebastion Please pray for healing, peace, guidance and thanksgiving for these beautiful lives.
This was week 2 of Only One Thing: A Weekly Bible Study for Bad Christians. Wondering what that all means, read more here.
Oh, and I am firm believer that you can never be too late to the party, so catch up on Only One Thing Week 1 and Week 2