Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Judges or Bosses

"I have to make a call to Mr. XYZ."

"Who is that?" asked Chloe, with no less than 45 Pretzels Crisps in her mouth.

"Someone I have to call about a project I am working on, now please be quiet."

"Is he a judge or a boss?"

"Neither."

"He has to be a judge or a boss, Mommy. People are either Judges or Bosses. They either tell you what to do or just watch you do it and have a big opinion."

I will never tell Chloe to be quiet again. I have no idea where Chloe came up with this idea. When I press her, she begins talking about Sofia the First. When I try to trick her into a discussion, like I am a brilliant child psychologist, she just begins dancing to non-existant music. When I ask who is a boss and who is a judge, she blinks at me like I am speaking a foreign language.

The whole interlude messed with my head.

I called Mr. XYZ, unsure if I was calling someone who was going to tell me what to do or simply have an opinion about what I was doing.  Thankfully, voicemail picked up; although I am certain I sounded like a lunatic.

"Hi Mr. XYZ, I don't want to tell you what to do and I am not sure I want you to tell me what to do. I don't want you to do nothing and talk about me and I don't want to talk about you, well, maybe in my blog, because I am working through some things. So, yeah, anyway, Have a super day!! And call me back or not. Or whatever you want! I am not bossing you around!"

I hung up and vowed to call him tomorrow and explain I had a fever.

Which one was I? I certainly tell lots of people what to do--I am a wife, a mother, a room mom, a Girl Scout leader, yoga teacher, and, and, and. . .the list goes on and on. I've put myself in places of leadership, because I do enjoy being in charge.

At the same time, I don't want to be mean or bossy to anyone--I want them to like me. I'd like to be considered nice, a stand-up girl, a team player!  But, aren't I sometimes quiet, only to turn around and watch what's happening with a very judgmental eye.

So which I am? Boss or Judge? Is Chloe right, are there only two types of people?

I had to ask Chloe, because clearly my 4-year-old is the wisest person I know. (She is the only who can find the car keys each morning.)

There was a very, very, very long pause.

"You are a Mommy. Mommies are everything."


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