Remember when I wrote in Yoke about funny things like my forty-five children and circumcisions and boobies and all my laundry?

And remember when I wrote in Yoke about serious things like preemies and gun control and brain tumors and childhood cancer?

Do you remember when I wrote in Yoke?

Yeah, I don't remember either.

I am just so busy. I could blame the 45 children. Or I could blame my job with Happy Family. Or my yoga class schedule. Or volunteer projects. Or being room mom. Or  being busy. Because, you know, I am just soooooo busy.

I am actually irritating myself right now. I hate it when people say they are busy. "Just so busy!" "I just don't have the time because I am busy!" "I have to run my kids around and clean and this and that."

I mean, really? You don't just sit around all day and night, like me? Because I am the ONLY PERSON WHO IS NOT BUSY.

The truth is, I've simply not made Yoke or writing a priority. I've avoided it, because, writing is hard work and like everyone else I will choose pleasure over pain any day.

So, now it is November and I've written a paltry 24 posts since January. In 2012 when I was "busy" growing another person, I wrote 124 posts.  I like to pretend I am busy writing other things, like the book I dedicated myself to writing years ago or hundreds of freelance writing assignments. (none of this is happening.)

Despite being so "busy," I have written at least 100 blog posts in my head while thinking about how I should sit down and write. For all of us who are SO BUSY, I've decided to make a short list of those blogs I've missed writing and you've missed reading.

Here's what I've been busy thinking about:
1. The Melissa Gorga Experiment and my Marriage. 
If you have no idea what I am talking about, head over to The Naughty Mommy. My pal Lindsay actually wrote all month long about Gorganizing her marriage. For my participation in the experiment, I bought an Alice + Olivia blue dress (not the one pictured at the right), drank wine (in my blue dress) and considered voice lessons to hone my skills as a pop star (apparently, these are not in the budget). I also wore a crown on Halloween, to appear more Queenly. Mike, my King, was Fred Flintstone. (this is unrelated.)

2. Becoming a real Christian Writer
While I am a real person, I am hardly an official Christian Writer. I'd love to write more about Jesus and God and all those holy things in a real, dedicated and non-blasphemous style. I'd love to write and not fear offending the Presbytery. I am not sure what this means; but I want to do it. I've just been so busy.

3. Pearl Jam
I'd love to write a blog about Pearl Jam and have someone from Pearl Jam read it (like the person in charge of the bands toe nail clippers, they can't possibly be busy, right?)

4. Nicholas, my barnacle
Nicholas, the last of my 45 children, is a spectacular kid and a barnacle. I cannot pee or poop or sneeze without him touching me. I fear he will live at home with me forever and cramp my style when I am 70 and trying to have martini parties.  He is never busy. It makes me suspicious.

5. Chloe, my middle
Chloe, the middle of my 45 children, is a spectacular, yet scary child. She has taught herself to write and read. As the middle kid, she received minimal attention. I fear she has a ghost who teaches her things when I am busy being busy.

6. Lily, my big

Lily, the oldest, is, of course, spectacular and dramatic. She has taught herself how to cry on command. I fear she will grow up to be an actress and move far away to California. Unlike her brother, she would be fun at the Martini parties. But, what if she is too busy?

There you have it; 100 blog posts wrapped up in six short bullets for the busy reader!

Please comment! If you don't I will assume it is because you are, in fact, very busy being busy doing something busy.


  1. I am way too busy to read this post. But I read it anyway. LOL. Now off to be busy!!

  2. You are so funny. Crazy. And can't be that busy!

    Love, the other insanely funny, crazy and busy.... - Kerrie Fitz


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