Friday, August 2, 2013
He loves me so well.
The first gift Mike ever gave me was a pencil stamped with "Jesus Saves."
I thought he was a loser, albeit cute. I secretly smiled (because my friends were watching and I was just 16.). Then, I looked right at him and offered a passionate eye roll.
I threw the pencil in the trash with fanfare.
Four months later, I told Mike I loved him.
That is how it always is with Mike and I. Mike offering gifts of attention, love, laughs and time. Me, charmed by his attention, but slightly too dim/embarrassed/cool/distracted, to fully acknowledge just how charmed I am-and then months later without warning, I am suddenly, all-in, in love, in lust, in-everything.
Mike is patient.
He knows me better than anyone--he knows I am fickle and loyal and contrary and passionate and lazy and energetic and happy, even when I am yelling at the top of my lungs. He has always known these things about me; I am not sure how he has known, exactly. And perhaps it is the Libra traits he wears so well, those traits of balance and structure coupled with his Midwestern neighborly demeanor that have given my gypsy, schizophrenic tendencies some sort of order that typically would not be possible without medication.
Mike just loves me so well.
Ten years of marriage have taught me that there is no one size fits all way to love "right." There is no real guidebook to this love thing--acres of books have been written telling us how to love and how to manage a marriage and how to do relationships. Reminders about date nights, directions on how-to-fight and rules on how to make up. None of these books tell us how to love well.
Love is custom-made, no book can tell you exactly how to love your spouse.
Mike has taught me that loving someone is a full time proposition--you love them when they rolling their eyes at you, you love them when they are enamored, you love them when they are spitting mad, you love them they need it--and you love them when they pretend they don't need anyone.
You love them when they've lost absolutely everything and have nothing to offer, but love. It is then when you realize that love is everything--the rest is simply the rest.
Happy Anniversary to the man who loved me and gave me everything. It is his love that keeps me safe and his love that knows me so well.
I love you, Mike.