Ten reasons why I am offensive or delightful

I find being political correct a frustrating proposition: this matter of saying the right things so everyone likes you and no one is offended.

It is impossible. It is like managing your life as if it is a corporate imagine of pristine perfection. It like being your own publicist all the time. I am great! I am smart! I am kind! I am sweet! I am always appropriate!


And I am the expert on self-branding nausea: the PR girl in me will always be twisted up with the truth telling part and as a result, I am neither the greatest at PR nor the greatest at the truth.

Maybe I am offensive. Maybe I am delightful. Maybe I look at the bright side. Maybe I am full of crap.

It is your opinion.

But no matter your opinion, I own myself. I own my opinions. I own my mistakes. I own my missteps. I own my success. And I own my failure. The little PR girl with dollar signs in her eyes, has grown up into a writer who knows her words are a very unwieldy baseball bat.

And sorry if you get hit. (Hand-eye coordination has never been my strong point).

I invite everyone to let their offensive flag fly--because none of us should wait for dementia to make us offensive by default.

Without further adieu, my ten reasons:

1. By nature of making this list, I am incredibly narcissistic.
2. I am voting for Barack Obama.
3. I breast feed my children.
4. I love Jesus. He is, on occasion, on my necklace. However, I am also a firm, believer that faith is deeply personal and that there is no universal "right" faith.
5. I don't believe people on welfare are lazy nor do I believe they are drug addicts.
6. I believe in gun control. Constitution be damned.
7. I believe people should express their opinions, openly, freely and with passion. But, I also believe we all bear a responsibility for our opinions. So, if your opinion is based on a lie or off-beat, be prepared to defend it.
8. I fight with my spouse in front of my children. And then we forgive, resolve and manage our conflict in front of them too. I believe disagreement is an integral part of true love.
9. I iron my daughter's school uniform every morning; because I believe you have to look professional even when you are 6. But, I don't care if she wears mismatched socks, because she is 6.
10. I am perhaps the most insensitive person on the planet. I am rarely offended. And when I am, I will tell you, your feelings be damned. And I will expect you to forgive me. Because I forgave you.