It is Friday. I have one article to finish (the editor is absolutely turning purple with rage), a house to clean (why do we have so many rooms?), laundry to wash and a to-do list of random emails, follow-ups and other stuff.
I have not accomplished one thing. And it is 9:45 a.m.
|I have it all and then some.|
I've made it to 26 weeks pregnant with no preeclampsia symptoms: a really wonderful sign that maybe we will avoid the NICU this time with The Boy. I made it through my first annual Death Week: and I feel pretty good about being fatherless. And I've recognized that maybe friends were not exactly lost during my year of mourning: but that I gained different priorities and a whole new life; a life I like quite a lot and a life that fits me well.
My new life is a very modern spin on housewifery. I do not view myself as the stay at home mom nor do I view myself as any sort of urban career girl. I am something in between. My motherhood has taught me: I can be it all; but I have to define what "it all," means. For me: it means being a constant and available volunteer at my daughters' schools, at church and in the community. It means being a faithful, Jesus-loving woman. It means being a communicative, loving and minimally snarky spouse. It means being a friend to everyone I meet; not just those people I like. It means not freaking out when I miss a deadline or struggle and fail. It means not giving up my writing life or my yoga life; but keeping those things in the mix and in proportion.
And it means sometimes I have to clean my house.